Kids: Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival. At the face...

By BeatenUpPup - 18/05/2009 12:22 - Canada

Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival. At the face painting station, she sat down and asked for a kitty on her face. Next, she shoved me on a chair and whispered something into the lady's ear. I ended up with a 'black eye' by request of my own daughter. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 211

You deserved it 5 799

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Same thing different taste

Fight Club Penguin

By mama bear - 05/06/2020 20:00

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 029

You deserved it 224

By Anonymous - 24/12/2010 05:02 - Australia

Today, I helped out with makeup at my daughter's high school play. As one girl walked past, I told her that she'd smudged pink lipstick all up the side of her face. Turns out it was a birthmark. She cried in the dressing room for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 045

You deserved it 12 480

That'll look good in the morning

By lizardface - 23/08/2010 22:44 - United States

Today, my daughter and I went to the carnival and had our faces painted. When we returned home hours later, I realized I have a deep sunburn all around my face, except for the skin under the paint in the shape of a gecko. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 593

You deserved it 10 547

By Anonymous - 11/09/2012 04:47 - United States - Norwalk

Today, my thirteen-year-old daughter tried to scratch the freckles off of her face. We ended up going to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 773

You deserved it 2 718

Sorry kiddo

By BrandNewKadillak - 30/04/2009 00:14 - United States

Today, I was at my 3 year-old niece's birthday party. I was swinging on their swing set when she walked directly into my path. I tried to jump off the swing, but I could not stop myself in time. I ended up kicking her in the face and giving her a black eye. Happy birthday! FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 131

You deserved it 11 353

By Laura - 30/11/2010 03:03

Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 060

You deserved it 5 388

It's not what you think

By shway - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 966

You deserved it 7 441

Stranger danger

By john doe - 07/12/2013 17:29 - United States - Portland

Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 059

You deserved it 6 210

By unknown - 15/09/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 180

You deserved it 6 096

By gbabyy - 22/11/2009 03:25 - United States

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 747

You deserved it 6 903

pancakelover 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:26

At least she didn't ask her to paint a penis on your face.

rukusrazor 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:23

Wouldn't you have thought something or asked while they were painting around your eye?

Comments

plexico 3

Monday 18 May 2009 22:25

Be glad you didn't get a Dirty Sanchez!

Kitty34_fml 0

Monday 18 May 2009 22:28

Why does a 4 year old know what a black eye is? And why would the face painter agree to do it on you without telling you?

NorfolkDude 2

Monday 18 May 2009 23:26

I'm not fully understanding this FML because I would imagine that to your daugther it was funny to have not because of making you look bad, but because she was having a good time with her mom. It sounds to me like your daugther might have seen you with a black eye before? Perhaps an abusive husband? If so, you should explain to your daugther that when you had the black eye that you were in a lot of pain. However, I'd imagine if your daugther thought it was funny, perhaps you acted strong and told your daugther a funny story about it. Even so, I'm sure your dauther will remember, and when she's old enough to understand, I'm more than positive she will love you further for not showing weakness or anger in front of her. So this isn't an FML really.

24788 6

Monday 18 May 2009 23:32

did you get a black eye painted on or did you get hit?

whoaa_nellie 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:57

awww that's too cute....ahahaha

meimallworried 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 0:04

Did she tell you later she asked for a black eye? Because she could have asked for an eye patch or something. Either way the person who drew it on you probably didn't have a problem with it, so I don't see why you should...