Kids: Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival. At the face...

By BeatenUpPup - 18/05/2009 12:22 - Canada

Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival. At the face painting station, she sat down and asked for a kitty on her face. Next, she shoved me on a chair and whispered something into the lady's ear. I ended up with a 'black eye' by request of my own daughter. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 211

You deserved it 5 799

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Same thing different taste

Fight Club Penguin

By mama bear - 05/06/2020 20:00

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 029

You deserved it 224

By Anonymous - 24/12/2010 05:02 - Australia

Today, I helped out with makeup at my daughter's high school play. As one girl walked past, I told her that she'd smudged pink lipstick all up the side of her face. Turns out it was a birthmark. She cried in the dressing room for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 045

You deserved it 12 480

That'll look good in the morning

By lizardface - 23/08/2010 22:44 - United States

Today, my daughter and I went to the carnival and had our faces painted. When we returned home hours later, I realized I have a deep sunburn all around my face, except for the skin under the paint in the shape of a gecko. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 593

You deserved it 10 547

By Anonymous - 11/09/2012 04:47 - United States - Norwalk

Today, my thirteen-year-old daughter tried to scratch the freckles off of her face. We ended up going to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 773

You deserved it 2 718

Sorry kiddo

By BrandNewKadillak - 30/04/2009 00:14 - United States

Today, I was at my 3 year-old niece's birthday party. I was swinging on their swing set when she walked directly into my path. I tried to jump off the swing, but I could not stop myself in time. I ended up kicking her in the face and giving her a black eye. Happy birthday! FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 131

You deserved it 11 353

By Laura - 30/11/2010 03:03

Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 060

You deserved it 5 388

It's not what you think

By shway - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 966

You deserved it 7 441

Stranger danger

By john doe - 07/12/2013 17:29 - United States - Portland

Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 059

You deserved it 6 210

By unknown - 15/09/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 180

You deserved it 6 096

By gbabyy - 22/11/2009 03:25 - United States

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 747

You deserved it 6 903

pancakelover 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:26

At least she didn't ask her to paint a penis on your face.

rukusrazor 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:23

Wouldn't you have thought something or asked while they were painting around your eye?

Comments

genius_man16 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:32

I don't get it Either this is an FML because your daughter knows that your husband beats you or something (real FML) or it just doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

mrose57 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:26

Better get a lid on the kid before it's too late.

AnnieSure 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:26

What's your daughters problem?

takpaan 6

Thursday 16 June 2011 16:32

what's ur prob, can't a kid have a lil fun? hate to be ur kid some day

ecilart 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:28

#3 - the daughter wanted the face painter to draw a black eye on the OP's face

gtdoll 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:49

Hahaha :) she's smart and funny Isn't really an fml though

emer_helena 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:49

At least she didn't ask the face painting lady to give you a real black eye. That would suck

Ohnoitslindsay 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:38

Your daughter is clever.

gtdoll 0

Monday 18 May 2009 20:48

Lololola :) she's smart and funny

CapriceClassic 0

Monday 18 May 2009 21:02

Seriously? She's 4 and was able to "shove" you? AND on top of that, she requested a black eye drawn on your face? Clearly there's no parent/child understanding of which one is which. I'm guessing you'll be on a Maury Povich show entitled "parental abuse" or "I'm 13 and I want to have a baby" before she's 15.

save_me_08 0

Monday 18 May 2009 21:10

I doubt it was like a bodily shove more like the daughter did something along the lines of "come on mommy your turn" while 'pushing' her towards the chair... Of course, considering she 'gave you' a black eye, perhaps it was a legit shove...