Animals: Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the...

By Sam l. - 10/11/2012 06:51 - United States

Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 161

You deserved it 3 653

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Same thing different taste

Idyllic

By Anonymous - 09/03/2024 20:00 - Netherlands - Valkenswaard

Today, after watching TV, my boyfriend and I had to go walk our dog. I was too lazy to get up from the couch immediately so I teased him by turning off all the (smart) lights using my phone. He got mad and went upstairs to continue watching TV, so now I have to walk the dog alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 751

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 17/06/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I came home to find my dog had not only shredded my favorite couch cushion but had also attempted to eat the TV remote. I have no idea how to change the channel manually. It looks like I'll be watching Animal Planet forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 229

By FrozenAnonymus - 14/07/2016 18:05 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 862

You deserved it 1 525

By oneloveliz - 17/09/2017 23:15

Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 469

You deserved it 1 572

By aXel - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 737

You deserved it 8 325

Bad boy

By Really - 14/05/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 88

By syn1734 - 16/10/2009 17:33 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me "she has a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So, I hurried home only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 156

You deserved it 3 445

Sweep it under the rug

By Anonymous - 12/08/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 489

By dog got ur phone - 07/05/2017 02:00

Today, I was playing music from my phone, which was on the couch. I guess my dog got jealous, because she picked it up and ran over to the toilet, promptly dropping it right in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 004

You deserved it 738

By Mr.P - 21/10/2011 15:35 - United States

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 225

You deserved it 3 268

Pleonasm 35

Saturday 10 November 2012 13:02

Bitches be crazy.

tj5810 21

Saturday 10 November 2012 13:03

That happens to everyone. *wink wink*

Comments

sarah123456888 2

Sunday 11 November 2012 3:52

Suuuuuure

SpearD 4

Sunday 11 November 2012 3:59

Wow, it's like Final Destination. Through a chain of events, the character (AKA the OP) was probably killed

oddball1972 10

Sunday 11 November 2012 4:01

Pathetic that your scared of your gf catching you watching **** !! Man up

BananerzFresh 12

Sunday 11 November 2012 4:35

Your dog knew your gf was coming.

brutaltruth 3

Sunday 11 November 2012 5:14

Get real, you subscribed to the Hustler channel...enough said.

danx900 7

Sunday 11 November 2012 6:11

Troll dog!

Trix_Disorder 20

Sunday 11 November 2012 7:34

Good dog.

annie_nk 22

Sunday 11 November 2012 10:48

That show is as old as my grandparents. I get your reference, but sadly today's kids won't.

MikeRulz 15

Sunday 11 November 2012 17:48

did she scream and storm out?

AgaveLoco 5

Sunday 11 November 2012 19:58

The dog change the channel... excellent alibi ! Thanks!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 320

You deserved it 9 464

Today, while doing my boyfriend's laundry, I noticed that every single pair of his boxers had a poop smear in them. He's almost 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 86

The Top

Today, I finally started feeling better after getting a tooth pulled last week. I also started something else: my period, while I was stuck in the dentist's chair during my follow-up appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 82

Today, I got the most painful neck cramp of my life after whipping my head back in laughter at something that wasn't even that funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 551

You deserved it 1 910

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, saying he had to move away to be with his dad, who's just been diagnosed with cancer. After talking to his sister, I discovered that not only is his dad healthy, he's not moving away either; he's just gotten back with his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 524

You deserved it 2 551

Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 944

You deserved it 2 650

Today, it’s the first week of school and I’ve already had to schedule a sit down with two students’ families. The late great Jerry Springer would be proud of how many fists and chairs started flying barely after the introduction. I teach second grade and seriously weep for the future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 97

Today, I got asked on a date. I was later told we had to cancel. Why? My ex is parked in front of his house and he is afraid to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 848

You deserved it 3 971

Same thing different taste

Idyllic

Bad boy

Bad boy

Sweep it under the rug

Top comments

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