Animals: Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the...

By Sam l. - 10/11/2012 06:51 - United States

Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 159

You deserved it 3 653

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Same thing different taste

Idyllic

By Anonymous - 09/03/2024 20:00 - Netherlands - Valkenswaard

Today, after watching TV, my boyfriend and I had to go walk our dog. I was too lazy to get up from the couch immediately so I teased him by turning off all the (smart) lights using my phone. He got mad and went upstairs to continue watching TV, so now I have to walk the dog alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 746

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 17/06/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I came home to find my dog had not only shredded my favorite couch cushion but had also attempted to eat the TV remote. I have no idea how to change the channel manually. It looks like I'll be watching Animal Planet forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 229

By FrozenAnonymus - 14/07/2016 18:05 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 860

You deserved it 1 525

By oneloveliz - 17/09/2017 23:15

Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 468

You deserved it 1 572

By aXel - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 737

You deserved it 8 325

Bad boy

By Really - 14/05/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 87

By syn1734 - 16/10/2009 17:33 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me "she has a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So, I hurried home only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 154

You deserved it 3 445

Sweep it under the rug

By Anonymous - 12/08/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 488

By dog got ur phone - 07/05/2017 02:00

Today, I was playing music from my phone, which was on the couch. I guess my dog got jealous, because she picked it up and ran over to the toilet, promptly dropping it right in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 003

You deserved it 736

By Mr.P - 21/10/2011 15:35 - United States

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 225

You deserved it 3 267

Pleonasm 35

Saturday 10 November 2012 13:02

Bitches be crazy.

tj5810 21

Saturday 10 November 2012 13:03

That happens to everyone. *wink wink*

Comments

AgaveLoco 5

Sunday 11 November 2012 20:01

You forgot something... you have no dog!

livinginabook 24

Sunday 11 November 2012 20:14

Suuuuuuuuuuuuure... ;)

puppster391 16

Sunday 11 November 2012 21:03

Man's best friend...

foxmtb96 3

Sunday 11 November 2012 21:36

All he had to do was step on "recall"

SUPA_TOLL_CAL 6

Sunday 11 November 2012 22:09

funny how you added "trought the door" as if otherwise we expected her to burst throught the window.

seanc722 2

Monday 12 November 2012 5:03

He probably hit the "Go back/Last" button and its still your fault :p

buster409_fml 2

Monday 12 November 2012 7:48

Good dog

dunebro 15

Monday 12 November 2012 14:32

Tell her your dog was watching tv and you just got home too?

chuckcloninger 12

Tuesday 13 November 2012 1:20

Are you really that scared of your girlfriend? That can't be a fun relationship now can it?

pharmacy 1

Tuesday 13 November 2012 19:51

BULL-SHIT. Don't front nigga.

Keywords

Cheating Love Relatable Work Money My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

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I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 33

Today, my husband returned from a 6-week business trip. During that time, I put myself on a very strict diet/exercise regimen so I could surprise him with a hefty weight loss. He took one look at me and demanded to know who I was fucking on the side. Yeah, because that’s the only reason I lost weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 149

You deserved it 230

The Top

Today, I felt suicidal and told my mum I was going to hang myself from my curtain rod. All she cared about was the rod possibly coming loose and damaging the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 325

Today, my daughter ran up to an old man with a white beard and a red sweater because she thought he might be Santa. He was a homeless dude, drunk at 9 in the morning. He told her to either give him money or f**k off, then screamed at her that "Santa’s not real, grow up r*tard." She’s still crying FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 224

Today, I was working and a woman wanted to pay with a credit card. It already had a picture on the card so you don't have to ask for i.d., and just glancing at it. I asked, "Oh, is this your husband's card?" She then replied, "No, that's just me with glasses and short hair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 185

You deserved it 46 676

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 073

You deserved it 8 184

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year-old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 305

You deserved it 5 537

Today, I had a job interview. I was feeling upbeat and confident I was gonna get the position, until I saw that my main qualification on my resume was being a "real n**ga" and "getting bitches and hoes 24/7." My brother had changed it as a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 271

You deserved it 242

Same thing different taste

Idyllic

Bad boy

Bad boy

Sweep it under the rug

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