Animals: Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever... - FML

By Z3R0G5 - 06/01/2014 23:00 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 177

You deserved it 19 258

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By honeybunny90 - 28/12/2013 08:23 - United States - Richmond

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 512

You deserved it 5 887

By Cedar Buero - 05/03/2017 19:00 - United States - Cape Girardeau

Today, my dog thought it would be a good idea to use my phone as a chew toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 402

You deserved it 685

If I fits, I sits

By Dumbass Cat - 28/07/2022 15:00 - United States - Steele

Today, my cat got mad at me because I wouldn't let him sit on my Xbox. Jeez, sorry that I care about your safety, and I don't want my Xbox to overheat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 205

Clever boy

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 02:30

Today, I found out my dog can open the fridge. Now I have no food left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 148

By Crystal_Nicole - 14/12/2013 05:05 - United States - Wichita

Today, my dog played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 515

You deserved it 7 068

By Anonymous - 21/11/2012 05:00 - United States - Casselberry

Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 961

You deserved it 5 101

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/10/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 083

You deserved it 8 761

By luni - 26/06/2011 21:17 - United Kingdom

Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 853

You deserved it 8 905

Who's a good boy?

By Hey buddy - 10/11/2022 10:00

Today, my dog celebrated my coming home by slapping me in the junk repeatedly with his tail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 184

Clever boy

By Lisa87 - 21/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 94

Next

Top comments

purebliss_fml 19

Tuesday 7 January 2014 14:10

So turn the Xbox off and take him for a walk!

Jacksparrow72 21

Tuesday 7 January 2014 14:09

Should have gotten a PS4.

Comments

lwdramaqueen95 8

Sunday 12 January 2014 7:07

Maybe that's his way of telling you that you pay too much attention to the xbox, and not to him?

devondv 5

Tuesday 14 January 2014 22:50

Xbox can wait. Doggies need love.

slapsface 10

Thursday 16 January 2014 5:10

MinnesotaDogs?

thefmlman2011 36

Wednesday 20 August 2014 13:31

Well, what are you waiting for? Give him a damn controller, and play together!

ghost_soul_fml 3

Saturday 7 February 2015 2:41

Thts so cute ??

HDMi127 10

Sunday 8 February 2015 6:04

Try placing it somewhere else, or putting a small sheet over it... or getting a PS4 ? . But if your dog needs attention, you should give him attention.

Solano2580 24

Tuesday 7 April 2015 5:19

Tape some carboard on it or something

fantasyworld 37

Monday 23 November 2015 23:43

Smart dog.

BonerFart 23

Thursday 3 December 2015 17:05

Does he bark "Xbox off"?

cantevenanymore 9

Wednesday 27 July 2016 14:35

Quadratic Equations????

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 211

Today, I got a call from a lady who said my husband died in a car accident in Miami. My husband is supposed to be at a business trip in North Carolina, so I told her it must be a mistake. Turns out it was all true. He lied about a business trip and went to Miami with his lover, who was the woman who had called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657

You deserved it 48

The Top

Today, I found out that the noise I thought was a mouse in my room was a water bottle shaking when my refrigerator turned on. I stayed up till 4am looking for a mouse that didn't exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 213

You deserved it 44 539

Today, one of the kids I was babysitting had a severe peanut allergy, and he looked me dead in the eye as he ate a peanut bar before I could stop him. His sister swore up and down that I made him eat it. Guess who the parents believed, even after I rushed him to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 412

You deserved it 116

Today, I have to defend my bachelor thesis, which took me 10 months to complete. Three weeks ago, a new technology was released that renders my entire work obsolete. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 471

You deserved it 287

Today, I unknowingly left a five minute-long voicemail on my boss’s phone, at 3 a.m., while out drinking with friends. I have no idea what we were talking about at that time, but I know I don’t want my boss to have a candid recording of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 534

Today, I was trying to fix a stapler, but it turns out it wasn't broken at all. It wouldn't staple a small stack of papers but had no trouble stapling through my finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 437

You deserved it 3 938

Today, I received my first dick pic from my boyfriend. Problem is, we broke up 3 weeks ago and his next message said, "Oops, sorry, wrong person." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 176