Sorry for ya OP I understand your pain and a follow-up please are you man or woman was the bulling mental or physical or both and what would your sister marry a bully?🤔

I would never miss my sisters wedding.

If I found out my partner was a former bully to one of my siblings (and they're still suffering 10+ years after the abuse) I would drop them like the garbage they are. Of course, your sister shouldn't /have/ to leave him if she really cares about him, but she should at least have respected your boundaries and your decision not to go. A fair price, if you ask me. Stick to your guns, OP. If you feel uncomfortable around this person, don't force yourself to play nice with this guy--even if your family is pressuring you. It seems they don't understand the severe impact bullying can have on a person. Focus on yourself, and work towards healing.

high school was 15 years ago. you are responsible for your own anxiety. grow up.

clearly nobody who comments suffers from Anxiety. i do however and know how badly anxiety can change your life. I didn't fully understand the impact anxiety can have on someone until i got it myself. i battle my anxiety every day. telling some with anxiety to man up is only going to make the anxiety worse. you have to do what's best for you. don't surround yourself with negativity it only makes the anxiety worse.

To everyone who commented on this guy to grow up...as a veteran and someone who suffers from PTSD, and heavy anxiety....I pray to God that no one of you ever have to deal with high levels of anxiety...know what, scratch that..I wont waste my breath. I actually hope each and everyone one of does have to deal with anxiety and I hope it's ten times worse, so we can sit back and tell you to grow the hell up!

Your love for your sister ought to trump whatever negative experiences you’ve had with her SO.

I can conclusively say, if my children are like this gentleman than I will have failed as a parent. Your piece of mind, your strength and your hope for better can only be snatched if you let someone do that. Go to that wedding, support your sister and if this dude is still an awful bully, tell him to **** off. You know what, you might find you’re better off, that you’ve snatched your piece of mind back. I do feel for you and I sympathize. Bullying sucks. Eventually though you have to at least try to let the past be the past and get on with it. Don’t wallow, you’re better than that, you’re stronger than that. Don’t tiptoe around your bully for the rest of your life, it is a choice and it does start with you. Best of luck and you got this!

I get anxious sometimes, but I certainly don't suffer from anxiety, so I obviously can't properly relate. However, I'm taking this with a bit of a grain of salt. Presumably, your sister is a decent human being in which case if the dude really was a proper d*ck she wouldn't be marrying him. Likewise, again, I don't know what that bullying entailed, but again, it was properly some quite low-key stuff that people grow out of. Not saying 'little bullying is fine' or whatever, but it were different times and he was probably a different person so if it was something like him taking your lunch at 15 then maybe it's time to take your meds and deal with the uncomfortable situation. Your sister clearly loves him and it's an important day for her so unless the dude has done something do you recently or what he did was proper hardcore bullying like shoving you in a locker somewhere I, too, would cold shoulder you for not going. What are you going to do in the future? Avoid every family event? You're just harming yourself and relationships even more by doing so in the long rung. He's grown, maybe you should too.

Not to sound insensitive (I know what it’s like to be bullied in school), but man-up. Seriously. You can show him you are better than him and rise above it. Or wuss out and prove to him that he was right.