Intimacy: Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals...

By lolzboss - 07/03/2011 19:04 - United States

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 478

You deserved it 46 314

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By The fuck, junior? - 05/07/2013 22:45 - Canada - Gatineau

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 103

You deserved it 5 402

Back in fashion (Oppenheimer dolls not so much)

By JGarz - 10/10/2015 07:21 - United States - Tucson

Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 307

You deserved it 2 730

****** addict

By bigmouthedmommy - 13/04/2015 05:35 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my husband and I caught our 12-year-old son "experimenting" with a 5-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse. He even made sure to rip Mickey's pants off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 608

You deserved it 4 030

By offrampmotel - 28/03/2017 14:00

Today, my 4-year-old son discovered that he really likes masturbating. So much in fact, that he took pictures of it with my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 380

You deserved it 746

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 563

You deserved it 4 700

By Anonymous - 05/10/2018 03:00

Today, I found my 5-year-old son prancing around in high heels and cat ears, wearing a thong as a necklace, and waving a riding crop around like a sword. He'd found the box where granny keeps her special outfits that make granddad extra happy on Friday nights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 591

You deserved it 410

By Darin Greenwood - 22/07/2019 14:00

Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 376

You deserved it 2 479

By anonymousyo - 24/04/2015 22:04 - United States - Vacaville

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 164

You deserved it 4 233

By FMLMom - 08/08/2012 08:02 - United States - Chula Vista

Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 858

You deserved it 4 639

By Kay - 02/06/2013 19:00 - India - Nagari

Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 285

You deserved it 6 499

a_girl_i_know 0

Monday 7 March 2011 23:13

today's kids know a lot more stuff now than when we were kids, I wouldn't be surprised if he learned it at school.

memo619 0

Monday 7 March 2011 23:10

I think it was the fathers influence

Comments

overcat123 0

Monday 7 March 2011 23:23

0.o

guppy40000 0

Monday 7 March 2011 23:26

monkey see monkey do

Decodedman 1

Monday 7 March 2011 23:30

Next time, before you sit him in front of his favorite show and leave, why not actually stay and see what happens on "Furry Family Fap Time"?

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 8 March 2011 19:54

Unlike peewee's funhouse.

heathersmorin 0

Monday 7 March 2011 23:30

Wow!! What has your son been seeing? that's not the best patenting! What's he gonna do at school?!

Bonta_kun_fml 2

Tuesday 8 March 2011 6:06

Patenting? ****, NOW I HAVE TO ACTUALLY PATENT A CHILD? SHIT!

sappy0 5

Tuesday 8 March 2011 10:36

Yeah, you can get them at Walmart in the stuffed toy aisle. Happy patenting! ;)

oooKiLLaHooo 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:00

so do I have to pay if I wanna name my son the same or what?

Emileerzz 1

Monday 7 March 2011 23:31

you have stuffed animals that you keep around the house.?

heathersmorin 0

Monday 7 March 2011 23:32

Wow!! What has your son been seeing?? Thats some great parenting your doing!! What's he going to do at school?!

squeaker07 15

Monday 7 March 2011 23:57

It's kinda ironic that he's too young to even know about sex yet you're too old to even have stuffed animals. Umm honey I think you and him need to trade lol.

cheerchika 0

Monday 7 March 2011 23:59

lol why do u still have stuff animals?? do u use them for pleasure lol

lolwutdino 9

Tuesday 8 March 2011 0:01

It could have been a collection OP has when he/she was younger?

rasta_pasta 4

Monday 14 March 2011 7:02

That doesn't make it any less weird.

Sinkhole 26

Tuesday 8 March 2011 0:07

How do stuffed animal's massive orgies look like? Just a pile of stuffed animals? Don't sweat over it, he probably doesn't see them as being in sex positions, it's more likely that it's just you and your dirty mind, OP.