Love: Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday.... - FML

By assante2010 - 24/07/2011 00:09 - United States

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 357

You deserved it 6 885

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 16:52 - United States

Today, it's my birthday and my friends and I went to our favorite pub to celebrate. As I'm a little broke at the moment, they all offered to buy me birthday drinks. Which I later learned meant that they would order them for me and bring them to the table, but put everything on my tab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 547

You deserved it 2 931

By BMTH2296 - 21/03/2014 23:42 - United States

Today, I realized how sad my life is when for my 18th birthday, I went to a strip club, by myself, in GTA V. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 403

You deserved it 8 435

By bluntedone - 03/02/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 036

You deserved it 52 153

Quite the gamble

By Anonymous - 25/03/2011 19:25 - United States

Today, to celebrate my older sister's 21st birthday, my parents forced me to take the night off work so we could all go to the casino. Not only is this coming out of my vacation, I wasn't old enough to enter the casino, so I had to sit in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 833

You deserved it 4 437

Night on the tiles

By obese_chicken - 06/11/2009 06:59 - Australia

Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 072

You deserved it 8 342

By abc - 27/05/2009 10:15 - Pakistan

Today, I took my friends out to an expensive restaurant for my birthday treat. They had arranged for a surprise birthday cake for me which I cut, very happily, while they chanted birthday wishes. When the bill came, I discovered I was supposed to pay for my great 'surprise' cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 422

You deserved it 5 366

By happy bday - 17/09/2010 04:02 - Canada

Today, is my 21st birthday. My friends took me to a bar to celebrate, knowing I don't drink. I'm now in charge of driving my friends home after they've had an awesome night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 003

You deserved it 9 396

How can I make this about me?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2022 18:01

Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 164

By azmom - 27/03/2012 17:51 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 325

You deserved it 26 213

By Anonymous - 14/04/2012 04:57 - United States - Paducah

Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 032

You deserved it 4 329

Next

Top comments

BIEBERSLAYER 10

Sunday 24 July 2011 9:22

please tell me you didn't get a lap dance from her.

HahaYDI 0

Sunday 24 July 2011 9:24

Did you get some sort of family discount?

Comments

carlosestrada1 4

Monday 25 July 2011 6:50

how? xD!

carlosestrada1 4

Monday 25 July 2011 6:52

private extra services?

lucy8248 0

Monday 25 July 2011 6:50

How?

EddieGrimaldo 0

Monday 25 July 2011 6:55

haha wow! Desperate for money

situations 3

Monday 25 July 2011 7:02

:P weak dude Your life does suck!!!! I bet your friends did that on purpose tho

cutiha98 0

Monday 25 July 2011 7:17

os she hot cuz I'm single md ready o mingle

My_Name_Is_ 5

Monday 25 July 2011 7:55

is she hot?

dramaelf 37

Monday 25 July 2011 8:04

Did she say happy birthday?

rawrisforsami 13

Monday 25 July 2011 9:27

that awkward moment...

sandmancometh 3

Monday 25 July 2011 9:31

did you tip her?

gardenwhipped 5

Monday 25 July 2011 9:32

I have to say, this is great. Change her ringtone to "she works hard for the money" and keep it on there until she can get you a date with a cute stripper. :-)

15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23

Keywords

Relatable Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games

The Top

Today, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can only have sex with really fat men, because that’s what turns me on, yet as soon as the sex is over, through no fault of theirs, I have to run to the toilet to be sick because I can’t believe what I just had sex with. I’m so messed up in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 2 524

Today, I got a call from a lady who said my husband died in a car accident in Miami. My husband is supposed to be at a business trip in North Carolina, so I told her it must be a mistake. Turns out it was all true. He lied about a business trip and went to Miami with his lover, who was the woman who had called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 54

The Top

Today, some dumbass ripped my facemask off, spit in my face, and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 204

Today, I taught a high school class on public speaking. When I explained how important it was for a presentation to be polished and professional, one kid asked, "Is it professional for your skirt to be tucked into your underwear? I didn't know they made My Little Pony panties for adults." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 289

You deserved it 2 202

Today, I was invited out to a date by my ex-boyfriend. He seemed really excited to reconnect and kept holding my hand and complimenting how I looked. Out of nowhere a girl runs up to him screaming. It was his current girlfriend, he was using me to make her jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 631

You deserved it 6 729

Today, for our 8th wedding anniversary I gave my husband several well-thought-out gifts. He gave me divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 970

You deserved it 391

Today, I found out that my house has termites and my family, from whom I'm renting the place, says I might have to move. I don't have the funds for that right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 69

Today, I spent ages applying for a scholarship online. I found out on the very last page that I do not meet the qualifications for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 946

You deserved it 11 068