Love: Today, my girlfriend and I somehow got into the conversation...

By Random737193 - 07/05/2015 19:52 - United States - Haddonfield

Today, my girlfriend and I somehow got into the conversation of what the weirdest thing we have ever found in food was. She said she found paper in her fortune cookie; she was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 180

You deserved it 3 008

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Same thing different taste

By Newly Minted Canuck - 22/04/2017 20:00

Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 287

You deserved it 4 666

By Anonymous - 24/05/2011 04:38

Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 519

You deserved it 3 828

Masterchef 2020

By Anonymous - 26/11/2020 18:58 - United States - Maryville

Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 61

By frootloops - 21/11/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 859

You deserved it 27 729

By Wheresthecreamfilling - 03/11/2016 06:03

Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 095

You deserved it 1 898

Snack time

By oops... - 12/09/2014 05:50 - Canada - Sylvan Lake

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 603

You deserved it 29 748

By brownieswillneverbethesame - 04/09/2011 06:18 - United States

Today, I was eating a brownie my grandmother had made, only to discover an inch long piece of what resembled dead skin in the middle of it. This discovery was only made after taking a bite and wondering why the consistency was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 147

You deserved it 2 476

By btg - 06/02/2010 06:27 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 250

You deserved it 3 552

By FawnPrincess - 17/11/2017 15:00

Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 219

You deserved it 448

Good one

By bf. - 19/12/2013 02:59 - Canada - London

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 219

You deserved it 3 001

fifi125 21

Friday 8 May 2015 8:29

"I found ham between some bread once"

Pyneapple 19

Friday 8 May 2015 8:39

One time I found a stripper in my cake. So delicious; the cake was alright I guess.

Comments

limegreenpoopie 31

Friday 8 May 2015 15:57

Ooh! Ask her if she ever found candy between a plastic wrapper

ohSNAPyall 26

Friday 8 May 2015 15:57

Not just paper... A message!

cutiepie292929 18

Friday 8 May 2015 16:05

She could have been from somewhere that don't have fortune cookies

LostInTheZone11 29

Friday 8 May 2015 16:24

The gates are down and the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

Drosophila82 18

Friday 8 May 2015 17:09

Did it say 'get a brain cell' in mandating... I'm sorry I'm sorry, it was irresistible. Hope now she knows those are born with a paper inside.

mustangbravo 27

Friday 8 May 2015 17:58

O_o

Tannasgh 22

Friday 8 May 2015 20:21

D'oH!

Redgy22 26

Friday 8 May 2015 20:23

Hope she is at least pretty to look at...

maharb01 17

Friday 8 May 2015 20:40

So was she serious, "in bed"?

thecrazymancan 17

Friday 8 May 2015 21:58

I found peanut butter and jelly in a pb&j sandwich once. O.o I sent it back.

Keywords

Singing Miscellaneous Birthday Family Awkward Dating Love Work Pregnancy Relationship advice AITA Money Scams Healthy Lifestyle Doctor Food Health Management Embarrassing Party Animals Dogs Shopping Kids Coffee Relatable Cute Holidays Cats Ghosting

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It's great to see you ! How was july ? Hot, sweaty, flirty ? How I miseed talking to you (and getting one or two comments if we're lucky enough). But let's not complain, a whole month welcoming artists for their second rounds who gave us brand new il...

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 11

Today, I needed some contact lens solution, so I left my room to look in my sister's room to see if she had any. I walked in to see my mom sucking my dad off on her bed. They didn't see me so I walked away, but the image is engraved in my mind forever now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 179

You deserved it 511

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Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 381

You deserved it 4 391

Today, after studying for hours a day for the past month, sacrificing weekends and time with my husband, I finally took the exam required for a possible promotion at work. Out of over a hundred questions, I only knew the answer to 3 of them for sure. Boy, am I glad I studied so hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 678

You deserved it 4 584

Today, I've finally got my mental health under control after decades of flailing. I also started showing signs of Serotonin Syndrome, which is caused by my meds and could result in seizure and death. So my choices are the swirling void of depression or possibly just the void. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 94

Today, I met my new 7ft tall and heavily muscular neighbor. Before I could say anything, he greeted me in his really deep voice with, "Excuse me, but is this yours?" He was holding my muddy 3-year-old son, who he'd found in his backyard, by his jumpers like a stuffed cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 955

You deserved it 901

Today, my best friend went in for her scheduled mammogram, and I sent her a text saying, "How're your boobies?" It was only after I sent it that I realized I'd sent it to my history professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 436

You deserved it 13 184

Today, it was so windy that when a man walking in front of me sneezed, all of his saliva blew onto me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 631

You deserved it 196

Same thing different taste

Masterchef 2020

Snack time

Good one

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