Love: Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, and listening... - FML

By Jerf - 24/06/2009 00:56 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, and listening to loud music when she suddenly looked worried and asked if I heard something. I said no and continued. Moments later, three firemen opened the bedroom door and told us to get dressed and go outside because the building was on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 918

You deserved it 9 807

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Same thing different taste

By wookieewhosshe - 19/03/2019 13:00 - United Kingdom - Sutton Coldfield

Today, my building's fire alarm went off. Unfortunately, this coincided with sexy time, and the loud alarm made me jumpy, making it extremely difficult to untie my naked boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 125

You deserved it 397

By avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 204

You deserved it 3 115

Wakey wakey

By DanJames24 - 24/05/2021 05:01 - United Kingdom - Southsea

Today, my flatmate woke me up early, saying there was a fire and we had to evacuate. Barely awake, she practically dragged me downstairs and got to the front door. Once we got there, she opened the front door, kneed me in the nuts, and pushed me out, locking it behind her. I was only in boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 162

Sexy morning

By Anonymous - 15/01/2020 00:00 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, my sister woke me up panicking saying our kitchen was on fire, and we had to leave. She practically dragged me out of bed and all the way to the front door. When we got outside, she suddenly kneed me in the nuts and went back inside, locking the door behind her. I was only wearing boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 753

You deserved it 281

Fire!

By Mel Cluze - 22/10/2019 16:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were spending the night at a hotel. We were awoken at 3 a.m. by the fire alarm. We quickly got dressed, went down the stairs to the reception area… and were told that it was a false alarm. All because some jerk lit a cigarette in his room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 671

You deserved it 161

I've not been arrested, I swear!

By Anonymous - 13/10/2021 08:01

Today, police knocked on my door in middle of the night. They said there was a fire in one of the houses in our street, so they were evacuating houses. They wouldn’t let me go back and get dressed. As I was only in my underwear, they told me I could wait in their car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 92

By GasFromThePast - 24/11/2018 16:40 - United States - Cambridge

Today, I smelled gas when entering my apartment. I checked everything and then left to seek help. I was told to call 911, which resulted in two firetrucks and 10+ firefighters, one of which was my high school sweetheart, entering my messy apartment and finding nothing wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 892

You deserved it 657

Nutfirecracker

By Akashi - 22/07/2020 14:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the couch and his legs were on my lap. We heard a loud firework from somewhere outside our window, we both jumped and I felt the pain of him kicking me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 449

What's going on?

By wahhh - 08/08/2011 11:07 - United Kingdom

Today, my neighbour from across the road phoned me at work telling me there was a fire engine outside my house and a lot of smoke. I drove home in a panic, smashing a rear light on a post and getting flashed by a speed camera. It wasn't my house. The firemen were putting out a bonfire next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 856

You deserved it 6 630

Right place, wrong person

By Anonymous - 11/02/2021 05:01

Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close the door as I've seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 1 133

Next

Top comments

HumansSuck 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 9:31

Now you can say you did it in a burning building :D

Juggalette_623 9

Wednesday 24 June 2009 9:26

Thats a mood killer right there.

Comments

rygm55 0

Friday 5 February 2010 0:18

dude that's no excuse not to finish hahaha

m_chelle89 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 1:34

haha sounds like a fun night!

Maddogg712 6

Friday 26 November 2010 0:43

How cockblocked can you get?

barbiegirl491 1

Monday 9 May 2011 17:09

should have listened to your girlfriend then

courk94 6

Thursday 3 November 2011 14:39

Jst Wow ! What a situation .. Talk about bad timing !

skater4life0311 0

Thursday 10 November 2011 0:08

Cockblock to the max.

justjeffo7 14

Wednesday 13 November 2013 3:03

At least you didn't die,OP.

lemurman108 24

Friday 3 January 2014 3:47

Must've been a really hot session, eh?

PVXCRunner15 12

Monday 3 August 2015 6:11

Looks like you guys got into it hot and heavy

ReiracsNeve 17

Thursday 3 March 2016 20:47

I'm sorry FYL but I can't stop laughing

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Keywords

DIY Cats Miscellaneous Family Management Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Coworkers Relatable Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Anxiety Technology Mental health Health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I spent an entire hour talking to someone at a party. I was feeling a real connection, only to find out halfway through the conversation that she wasn’t actually a guest, she was the caterer who just happened to be really nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 192

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 149

You deserved it 39 590

The Top

Today, I was babysitting my cousin when I realized my aunt didn't tell me where the diapers were. I searched the entire house, but I had no luck. Then my cousin ripped off the diaper she was wearing and peed on the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 335

You deserved it 4 249

Today, while playing basketball, my friend thanked me for passing the ball to him. I was too embarrassed to tell him that that was me shooting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 864

You deserved it 5 051

Today, I met a guy at a bar. Went home, got condoms, had sex. Also got Covid. First one night stand in four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 1 631

Today, my girlfriend who trained me at the job we both work at received a promotion, which left a spot for advancement. I was chosen for the position, and now the guy she's been cheating on me with is training me. Congrats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 128

Today, my dad cussed out an individual on the phone because he thought it was a telemarketer. He was my Indian girlfriend's father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 664

You deserved it 4 913

Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 292

You deserved it 8 732