Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have...

By conductingfromthegrave - 01/07/2009 05:18 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 405

You deserved it 4 580

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Very sexy and highly romantic

By Anonymous - 11/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Lynbrook

Today, my girlfriend said she’s been wanting to have sex lately. We haven’t done it in so long, I've lost track. We still haven’t done it. Part of me wants to fuck someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 553

Lifeless

By Motionless - 26/05/2011 09:55 - United States

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 087

You deserved it 23 790

Time is money

By asdfasdf - 24/01/2009 15:14 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 219

You deserved it 5 969

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 10/10/2022 18:30 - Turkey

Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 501

You deserved it 491

By Username - 08/07/2011 06:12 - United States

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 590

You deserved it 6 699

By baron - 01/06/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 678

You deserved it 7 573

By pathetic - 20/08/2010 09:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 688

You deserved it 29 883

By sixsix - 24/12/2008 11:19 - France

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 177

You deserved it 8 661

By Anonymous - 17/01/2011 01:28 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 105

You deserved it 7 022

Hang ups

By at least put on sexy underwear - 01/09/2023 20:00

Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 123

somnula 9

Wednesday 1 July 2009 16:44

she probably just meant "last time" and said yesterday. nbd

irishdubr 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 17:00

U shoulda said "ok" and started jerkin off. Then ask her what SHE did yesterday.

Comments

GrapefruitZoe 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 20:53

Yeah, I didn't know what to make of it but I didn't think anything too worrisome.

ithedarkknight 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 21:30

hmm if i were you i would of had like the craziest sex ever turn her completly out drain her... at least then you got some... then i would raise hell out of nowhere like wtf you mean yesterday this the first time we had sex in 6 DAYS!!!!!!!!!! and start argueing and creating hell so at least when you break up...you at least got some??? that should hold you over for awhile?

dumass30 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 21:49

Ooooo cheater!

speak_a_da_truth 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 22:19

I made something for this web site. It's called a "Jump to conclusions mat!" It's a mat with different "conclusions" on it that you jump to. I jumped and landed on misspoken... damnit I was hoping for obvious cheater

nodbor 11

Wednesday 1 July 2009 22:49

time flies when your ******* someone else

ithedarkknight 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 22:57

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA that is freakin gold bro pure gold someone need to make a shirt that says that id wear it!

XxXRawr 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 23:36

Omg Thats Fucken Funny xD But Srry For You xD I Hope You Broke Up With Her xD

blahdsflksfd 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 0:11

No sex before marriage.

aback 4

Thursday 2 July 2009 0:19

Good luck enforcing that, Sex Patrol. :D

BLNovelist 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 2:18

It's possible she's cheating, but it's also possible she just has her days screwed up. I've said something happened 'yesterday' that happened several days prior. :o And vice versa.