Animals: Today, my girlfriend called me and told me "she has a surprise...

By syn1734 - 16/10/2009 17:33 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me "she has a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So, I hurried home only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 156

You deserved it 3 445

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/10/2011 04:22 - United States

Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 873

You deserved it 5 292

By Anonymous - 13/05/2015 17:20 - Canada - Qu?bec

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 950

You deserved it 2 774

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 775

You deserved it 2 890

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 14:49 - United States

Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 704

You deserved it 3 181

Sweep it under the rug

By Anonymous - 12/08/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 489

Carrier pigeon

By Anonymous - 10/03/2022 12:00

Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 90

By Whatswrongwithme? - 03/11/2013 09:57 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my girlfriend I loved her. She left and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 788

You deserved it 5 723

The best part of breaking up…

By Anonymous - 19/10/2009 23:51 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 045

You deserved it 8 844

Pleased to meet you

By Homeless without superbowl - 16/02/2023 16:00

Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 4 809

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 13:17 - Australia

Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 780

You deserved it 11 016

amagaeru 0

Friday 16 October 2009 23:10

Err...unless the two of you bought the dog and tv together, that's probably theft.

allmidnighteyes 10

Friday 16 October 2009 23:09

At least you have your computer... And maybe her virginity as well?

Comments

SlapThatBitch 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 0:47

I expected nothing less than the utmost stupidity from someone named "pimpin"...and boy did you deliver! BTW, the feminists never asked YOU to accept them. You didn't really have a choice. ;D

Ultimate_Cynic 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 4:00

God damn, that's cold. All hail the true masters (or, rather, mistresses) of deception.

kfj19 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 7:06

i will fuuuuuuuuuck her up for you.

wajalama 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 7:13

you should give your ex also a surprise..the cops.

MacintoshDima 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 11:09

Press charges lmao...

FoundManyLemons 0

Monday 19 October 2009 2:22

Call the cops.

bad_luck_champ 0

Monday 19 October 2009 3:16

why would she do that to you? thats cold.....................did you do anything to have caused her to do such a thing?

Ruin11thHour 0

Monday 19 October 2009 4:56

If I were you, either I would call the cops, or, I would find the bitch, stab her in the face, call the cops, and tell them that she committed suicide. Thats just me.

reagin 0

Monday 19 October 2009 5:22

My ex did this to me -- only, he took my diamond jewelry as well as electronics. I made a police report, and they went and asked him about it. He told them he did not take any of my stuff, and since I didn't actually witness the theft, it's a he said / she said situation. So they can't do anything about it unless he tries to pawn something. His best friend fences stolen property as a side job, so I don't expect to see my things again any time soon...