Love: Today, my girlfriend is angry with me. We had an argument on... - FML

By Anonymous - 31/05/2015 20:36 - United States - Temecula

Today, my girlfriend is angry with me. We had an argument on how to properly eat an Oreo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 765

You deserved it 6 083

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 08:10 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 522

You deserved it 4 177

Sharing is caring

By T…… - 15/10/2023 00:02

Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit because I snatched a couple of her fries for myself. She regularly raids my snacks, takes food off my plate, and has even stolen my work lunches, but a couple of fries is too much to ask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 142

Neverending cycle

By Eiblake13 - 07/01/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend threw a bitch fit about her clothes not fitting and how she’s “so fat” to the point of storming out of the house when I asked her to please calm down. Just a couple of hours earlier, we'd ordered food and she ordered a salad, then asked to trade my burger and fries with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 146

Food for thought

By Whatthehell - 18/06/2022 04:00

Today, my girlfriend is mentally unhinged. She had a full on temper tantrum and ranted about healthy eating, and how she’s “fat” and needs to lose 30 pounds, all because I suggested Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. She stormed out of the house. I later ran into her at a local pizza place, devouring a pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 292

You deserved it 173

By Anonymous - 10/12/2012 18:09 - United States - Victorville

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 145

You deserved it 44 643

Give me a break

By anon - 18/02/2023 06:00

Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 195

By Anonymous - 02/08/2014 04:00 - United States - Houston

Today, my girlfriend interrupted my proposal to take a selfie with the ice cream I had just bought her. She then said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 165

You deserved it 6 470

By danthecomplicate - 29/09/2011 02:28 - United States

Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 285

You deserved it 12 484

By jeesh - 31/01/2009 11:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 972

You deserved it 89 325

By a single fuck - 23/05/2013 16:40 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 084

You deserved it 3 105

Next

Top comments

WCARlover 34

Monday 1 June 2015 16:56

The best way to eat Oreos is entire-package-in-one-sitting

HeadlessSparrow 20

Monday 1 June 2015 16:56

You take the Oreo, split it, eat the side without the frosting first, and then you eat the side with the frosting. That's how you properly eat an Oreo.

Comments

MichelleMaBelle_fml 16

Monday 1 June 2015 23:30

Ahh, reminds me of that old Oreo jingle.

jazalea8 16

Monday 1 June 2015 23:49

Is she pregnant?

nrwl_30 17

Tuesday 2 June 2015 0:00

Pick yer battles.

LordVaper 14

Tuesday 2 June 2015 0:14

Find an app tracking her period moods and you're safe, Sir ;-)

whatsittoyabuddy 8

Tuesday 2 June 2015 1:11

Yeah definitely split lick and eat. makes it feel like you have double the cookies!

Nimor 25

Tuesday 2 June 2015 1:31

I wasn't aware toddlers are allowed to call themselves boyfriend and girlfriend :)

PhinIt2WinIt 24

Tuesday 2 June 2015 1:53

then demonstrate to her how you would eat an Oreo, if you catch my drift.

iwadasn 32

Tuesday 2 June 2015 2:04

It takes two to argue. It sounds like you're both pretty petty.

mine___turtles10 13

Tuesday 2 June 2015 2:18

This reminds me of the library fight commercial

idxntgiveafxck 17

Tuesday 2 June 2015 4:16

I like my Oreos with peanut butter

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 2 157

Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 004

You deserved it 42 709

The Top

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 341

You deserved it 14 924

Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 577

You deserved it 7 621

Today, I had no idea my mom was low key racist until I told her I was dating a black woman, and she told me that was fine, just as long as I didn’t do something silly like fall in love with her or let her distract me from finding a proper wife. Wow mom, just wow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 137

Today, I started a new job. The supervisor handed me a badge with the name 'Rachel' on it, which is not my name. When I told her this, she responded with, "I know, but it will be easier for the customers to pronounce than your actual name." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 584

You deserved it 3 864

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 738

You deserved it 9 703

Today, I’m a 32 year-old man with a wife, a dog, and 2 kids. I still pick my boogers and eat them, and have no plans to stop anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 1 082