Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had...

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By quickfingers100 - 22/07/2011 13:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 935

You deserved it 10 734

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Same thing different taste

Nice way to go, really

By motorboatofdoom - 30/03/2020 05:00

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is terrified of me seeing her sex faces, so she violently squished my face between her boobs during sex. I then had a severe asthma attack because I couldn't breathe properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 212

You deserved it 309

Absolute beginners

By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 20:00 - Spain - Ripollet

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 943

You deserved it 5 973

By Anonymous - 24/08/2013 22:31 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 298

You deserved it 7 768

The wrong kind of banging

By BRELLA - 03/02/2009 19:58 - United States

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 127

You deserved it 3 957

So good it's bad

By kingpin7 - 30/03/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, I went down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I almost suffocated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 485

You deserved it 10 320

That kidnapped kink

By georgiahick - 30/12/2010 14:09

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 842

You deserved it 6 109

By AVeryConfusedGuy - 11/05/2017 22:00

Today, I was having sex with a girl and she passed out about a minute in. I panicked and thought she'd died so I tried to feel for a heartbeat. She woke up 45 seconds later and accused me of fondling her breasts while she was out. Apparently she has narcolepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 815

You deserved it 620

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 624

You deserved it 6 232

Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 696

You deserved it 7 408

By Anonymous - 08/03/2011 07:17 - United States

Today, while having sex, I thought I was having an orgasm for the first time. Turns out I was just hyperventilating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 335

You deserved it 6 470

grapisy 8

Friday 22 July 2011 19:20

Still counts.

FUUUandyourmom 16

Friday 22 July 2011 19:20

What a wonderful girlfriend you've got there!

Comments

Donzi_fml 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 0:05

I can't believe you got brown bagged!

P_to_the_AM 9

Saturday 23 July 2011 0:09

YDI for actually wearing the bag!

aaronruark 2

Saturday 23 July 2011 0:10

I have absolutely nothing to.say

ImProDuh 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 0:12

Ever farted?

littlemissFYL 5

Saturday 23 July 2011 0:16

*my bad scary movie 2

briarisafaggot 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 0:20

she put a bag on my head. still counts I just had seeexxx!

loah 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 0:24

wrong! it's cause your ugly. that's why the bag was on the head. dummy.

PutItIn 8

Saturday 23 July 2011 0:24

STILL COUNTS!! haha

saint556 4

Saturday 23 July 2011 0:29

well my friend you are defiantly ugly as all mess, and it seems like you are gullible as can be as well. sorry

OfficeNinja 5

Saturday 23 July 2011 0:35

did you leave out the part where she glued a photo of someone else's face on the bag?

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