Love: Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to...

By Anonymous - 24/08/2014 05:51 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 947

You deserved it 7 035

St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! More…

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Same thing different taste

High hopes

By mywillyisdisappointed - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went out with a girl I've been dating. I dropped her off and she finally asked me if I wanted to come in. When I did, she asked me to change a light bulb in her kitchen, and then promptly sent me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 147

You deserved it 3 528

By Crawling - 25/10/2008 16:56

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 054

You deserved it 10 264

By Anonymous - 12/12/2013 21:53 - New Zealand - Napier

Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 412

You deserved it 3 505

By je suis christy - 09/01/2015 19:04 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 962

You deserved it 3 147

Dirty room

By love you too honey boo - 13/01/2020 05:00

Today, I sent a scantily clad pic to my boyfriend, to which he responded "Nice, but please clean your room". FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 2 314

Classy

By LAME - 23/02/2009 08:09 - United States

Today, I was at my ex-girlfriend's house, who I still have a major crush on. After cuddling as we watched a movie, she began to show me several pictures she had taken on her phone, and asked which ones I liked the best. She then sent the pictures I had chosen, to a guy she had met a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 006

You deserved it 12 739

No chance

By Anonymous - 21/02/2020 14:00

Today, my girlfriend of two years called me over late at night. I got excited, assuming she finally wanted sex. No, she just wanted me to make her mac and cheese and talk to her because she was ‘restless’. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 910

By Anonymous - 03/05/2016 21:47 - United States - Eugene

Today, I got off work early to go home and surprise my girlfriend with lunch, only to come home to her in the middle of packing up all of her stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 942

You deserved it 1 287

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 18:23 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 869

You deserved it 5 522

Get out!

By Anonymous - 10/03/2010 21:12 - United States

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 159

You deserved it 68 109

AH1Zviper 15

Sunday 24 August 2014 16:45

That was pretty shelfish in my opinion.

eaglerob 20

Sunday 24 August 2014 16:44

That's your future wife right there; embrace the chaos

Comments

thisis16charlong 10

Sunday 24 August 2014 22:54

I think I've heard something similar to this before.... 'boy who cried wolf' maybe?

send3426 24

Sunday 24 August 2014 23:19

Smart lol

Definefailure 4

Monday 25 August 2014 2:43

used so hard haha. But are you the kinda bf who wont come around if it doesnt involve sex?

Lancer033 5

Monday 25 August 2014 4:26

I hope you mean your ex girlfriend

KawaiiSushii 8

Monday 25 August 2014 4:31

Women use their body for stupid stuff ._.

fmlrulesBolt 14

Monday 25 August 2014 5:00

I thought I was lazy

marlabmarrs 1

Monday 25 August 2014 5:06

It's sad that the girlfriend felt like she had to send the OP sexy pictures to get him to come over and help hang a shelf.

powhovian221b 13

Monday 25 August 2014 5:18

That was funny and kinda smart.

vividpictures 17

Monday 25 August 2014 7:10

Sounds like me and her would get along just fine! So alike.

Askim_fml 6

Monday 25 August 2014 8:28

Sucker

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The Top

Today, my mum suggested that I should take self-defence lessons just in case I ever get attacked. Jokingly, I said, "As long as I walk under street lamps, no one's going to touch me." She replied, "Well, you never know, they might mistake you for someone good looking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 385

You deserved it 4 868

Today, the guy I've been dating and sleeping with told me he is also dating another woman, but that they only kiss. I was under the impression we were exclusive for two months now, since I told him if we slept together that it would be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 174

You deserved it 445

The Top

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 479

You deserved it 8 262

Today, my mother asked me if I'd heard of anal sex. Before I could fully process her question, she explained that it's dangerous because the tissues of the anus are finer and more susceptible to STDs. There were still forty minutes left in our car ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 529

You deserved it 4 340

Today, my coworkers are giving me the cold shoulder since the idea of having “office dogs” or allowing employees to bring their dogs to work with them was shot down due to my severe allergies. I shouldn’t be forced to take meds unnecessarily just to be able to come do my job. They don’t care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 344

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 024

You deserved it 5 248

Today, I always thought that my dad never believed in me, but hearing him say it for the first time at 30 was the catalyst for some really hard self-reflection. The fact that I usually bounce all my ideas off him is the hardest to accept. Now who do I share with? FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 142

Today, I was nursing my baby in the park while my older kids played. A man stormed over and started screaming how vulgar and disgusting I was being, and how he didn’t want his kids exposed to “all that”. He and his buddies were all shirtless and playing vulgar music loudly through a speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 162