Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing...

By Surprisebuttsecks? - 07/12/2011 04:39 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 307

You deserved it 7 404

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Same thing different taste

By PerfectBoyfriend - 07/06/2016 16:38 - Belgium - Reet

Today, my girlfriend got pissed because she thought she heard me masturbating in the bathroom. I was brushing my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 397

You deserved it 1 914

By Sir Vom-a-lot - 14/06/2012 16:28 - United Kingdom - West Drayton

Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 659

You deserved it 6 621

By i fking love docb - 04/11/2012 21:16 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Christiansted

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 785

You deserved it 3 345

By Noname - 09/11/2008 09:18 - France

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 689

You deserved it 13 854

By TwiceDaily,Kids - 06/04/2012 00:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 926

You deserved it 5 123

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 282

You deserved it 3 004

By quadropheniac - 09/06/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128 518

You deserved it 8 108

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 16:14 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 843

You deserved it 6 288

By jeesh - 31/01/2009 11:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 970

You deserved it 89 321

By slayerdeath - 20/05/2012 05:19 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 627

You deserved it 2 547

WCARlover 34

Wednesday 7 December 2011 8:55

Your name says it all OP

jpoole 4

Wednesday 7 December 2011 8:54

It sounds like you guys are doing it wrong. Try it up her ass??

Comments

Lucky7Samson 10

Saturday 13 April 2013 23:39

Next time you **** doggystyle "accidentally" put it in her butt.

DusktheKat 12

Saturday 13 July 2013 6:35

SURPRISE BUTT SEX!

BeautyBaby099 18

Monday 9 September 2013 4:23

And why were you butt naked? Lol

gothika88_fml 5

Thursday 21 November 2013 9:34

My thoughts exactly. Ill do many things naked but they all take place in the bedroom or shower.

gothika88_fml 5

Thursday 21 November 2013 9:36

U left yourself wide open. Be lucky it wasn't a *****

sdroze1389 31

Wednesday 8 January 2014 1:42

nice. someone scored a freak lol

EclipseCandy6 24

Sunday 16 March 2014 13:47

Hahahahaha i actually laughed so hard at this, but it is tragic..

91hayek 31

Thursday 12 June 2014 11:44

Three years late but still got me to laugh out loud.

EverythingTaken2 5

Wednesday 13 August 2014 6:05

Wtf

kittykat1501 31

Friday 19 June 2015 0:24

We're u naked or something?

Rammer3500 23

Sunday 15 November 2015 3:23

Why were you brushing your teeth with no pants on?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Teenagers Animals Dogs Gamers

The Top

Today, I got home from a business trip and found my wife in bed with my sister. She tried to claim they had just had a girls' night and fell asleep watching a movie, even though when I caught them, they were naked, wet and my wife’s head was buried in my sister's crotch. Movie night, sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 148

Today, I got a call from a lady who said my husband died in a car accident in Miami. My husband is supposed to be at a business trip in North Carolina, so I told her it must be a mistake. Turns out it was all true. He lied about a business trip and went to Miami with his lover, who was the woman who had called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 675

You deserved it 52

The Top

Today, I was eating dinner with my family. My parents didn't want me to hear what they were talking about so they decided they would spell out the words so I wouldn't understand. I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 431

You deserved it 58 744

Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 230

You deserved it 32 316

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 059

You deserved it 3 210

Today, I was out to dinner with a friend. When the bill came with a customer satisfaction survey, I put honestly that the "server friendliness" was "below average." Ten minutes later, I had to return to the restaurant to beg the waitress for my keys, which I had left on the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 938

You deserved it 22 616

Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 599

You deserved it 4 010

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I were in the middle of a heavy make-out session when his cell rang. Normally, he'd ignore it. This time however he pushed me off of him and said "Shit! It's probably my girlfriend!" I thought I was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161 911

You deserved it 16 403

Same thing different taste

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