Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my...

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 289

You deserved it 29 243

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 19:44 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 836

You deserved it 6 346

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 128

You deserved it 23 509

I am clumsy!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 18:00

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 400

You deserved it 3 179

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 602

You deserved it 6 222

Heated gamer moment

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 00:00

Today, I thought it would be hot to go down on my girlfriend while she was playing a video game on the PC. Unfortunately, someone killed her in game and she wheeled the chair forward in anger, right into my nuts. It took her a few seconds to notice, then she blamed me for getting her killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 527

You deserved it 723

Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 679

You deserved it 7 399

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 178

You deserved it 10 862

Milking it

By mperrotta913 - 21/05/2010 15:46 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 154

You deserved it 14 890

Girl boss

By dating walter white's gf apparently - 06/04/2013 19:13 - United Kingdom

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 128

You deserved it 13 421

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 132

carlycrf 8

Monday 17 January 2011 16:05

did you swallow?

iHaveADream_ 0

Monday 17 January 2011 16:03

hahaha . don't lie , you liked it (;

Comments

wolf117_fml 0

Monday 17 January 2011 18:32

hahahaha that's funny

miniselman 0

Monday 17 January 2011 18:35

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that just made my morning. thank you very much for this and give your girlfriend a high five for me

bassplayer27 0

Monday 17 January 2011 18:52

BOOM goes the dynamite!

pavloviandoggy 4

Monday 17 January 2011 18:59

Did you ever come on her face? I think she might be trying to get revenge...

JokeMeister 0

Monday 17 January 2011 19:11

Ooooooooh! right n the smackr! Well they sa turnabout is fair play!

katrina_boone 0

Monday 17 January 2011 19:30

did you swallow? ..

deven329 1

Monday 17 January 2011 19:36

at least ur mouth wasnt open :P

Deservesit22 1

Monday 17 January 2011 20:03

let's hope it was

_Effort 0

Monday 17 January 2011 19:38

Fail*

Booda13 0

Monday 17 January 2011 19:46

you need to choke her

r9310 0

Monday 17 January 2011 23:50

congrats you just won a prize your comment was the least funny on this page congrats retard

iloveboyswittats 10

Tuesday 18 January 2011 6:01

some girls like it a little rough

perdix 29

Monday 17 January 2011 20:01

Hey, man, nice shot!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 487

You deserved it 38 933

Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 973

You deserved it 2 303

The Top

Today, I painted a kids room at my new nanny job while the dad "helped" by staring at my ass and telling me how hard it is to position your "junk" correctly when wearing a speedo. First day on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 344

You deserved it 3 848

Today, I found out that my over-controlling parents would be moving in next door. I'm almost 23, and moved 5,365 km away to get away from them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 172

You deserved it 1 944

Today, fourth day of vacation in paradise, I’m in Bali, Indonesia. I’m suffering from a violent turista. Between two attacks, I found by miracle a diosmectite that I drank bottom up. It was tap water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 101

Today, I found out that my sister has been stealing money from me. My parents won't do anything because there's "no evidence it was her". She's the only one in this house that spends regularly and has opportunities to take it while no one's around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 675

You deserved it 217

Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 034

You deserved it 12 766

Today, my mom, who still refuses to get a mobile phone, was late coming home, so I was sent to buy dinner. Dad wanted seafood. I picked it up and returned, only to find Mom was already back with McDonald's. Dad insisted we eat that, despite my protests and MY money I'd spent on HIS request. I made sure Mom saw the Verizon ads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 103