Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just...

By Anonymous - 05/03/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 139

You deserved it 5 570

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Same thing different taste

By thisisbad - 12/10/2009 14:21 - Malaysia

Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 996

You deserved it 2 789

By tony456 - 11/07/2011 21:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out while she was laying on me. Her little brother walked in, saw us and yelled, "Mom they're swallowing each other!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 727

You deserved it 24 587

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 922

You deserved it 6 674

TMI, dude

By Anonymous - 23/11/2018 16:00 - United States - Cranford

Today, my brother met my girlfriend for the first time. Instead of making a good first impression, the first thing he did was talk about how he just took a massive dump and didn't wipe very well, and that's why his hand smelled bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 294

You deserved it 249

By Anonymous - 20/09/2013 21:00 - Hungary - Szeged

Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 826

You deserved it 3 985

By Volume_control - 10/11/2009 14:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 849

You deserved it 31 403

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 675

You deserved it 9 516

By Jenn - 24/09/2017 10:00 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I had my first astounding orgasm during which I simultaneously shit myself and vomited. So thankful my new partner was present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 321

You deserved it 645

The sensual world

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 21:51 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 451

You deserved it 18 116

By shmarf - 20/06/2015 06:00 - United States - Belton

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 866

You deserved it 19 644

Doortje 29

Saturday 5 March 2011 12:10

How romantic. Your brother made sure that your first oral sex experience is one you'll never forget.

Quasar55_fml 18

Saturday 5 March 2011 12:01

I bet he's been refraining just for that one moment :D

Comments

gallir24 6

Saturday 5 March 2011 12:39

Your poor brother. He;s vomiting while you're having fun. fhl

UpsidedownKayak 9

Saturday 5 March 2011 12:49

He probably had himself some rotten fish taco and was feeling the effects. You should be glad it wasn't your girlfriend that ran to the bathroom to vomit. If you keep yourself cheese free she will probably do it again. Don't worry, you will get your O-face.

DaveOnDope 4

Saturday 5 March 2011 19:34

To #15, As long as you find the right woman it ain't gonna cost nothing. Other than that you'll have to find a junkie ***** and pay extra or have a gram or two of cocaine to give her. (Don't do any coke yourself! Look at the perverted shit people will do for it!) BTW, have a shower curtain ready. This situation sure calls for one! And obey rule #1, ALWAYS USE CONDOMS WITH STRANGERS! And you should know how to make dental dams out of condoms if you need one. Cut off the end, then cut length wise along the tube. unroll and you have a sheet of latex to cover where you want to put your tongue.