Health: Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning....

By AW - 10/01/2011 12:48

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 660

You deserved it 3 036

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Same thing different taste

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 728

You deserved it 3 073

By Anonymous - 12/02/2013 18:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 315

You deserved it 3 321

By fuuuuuh - 20/07/2012 05:47 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 795

You deserved it 30 935

By I stink - 18/12/2018 15:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 365

You deserved it 230

By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 11:37 - United States

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 175

You deserved it 2 775

Food for thought

By that’s what you get - 05/08/2020 17:02

Today, I warned my husband not to eat the seafood he'd left on the counter. He insisted it was fine. He’s now been in the bathroom shitting, puking and wailing for three hours. Our place is tiny and the bathroom is attached to our bedroom. The door doesn’t keep out the noise or the rancid smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 966

You deserved it 206

By Anonymous - 16/04/2016 07:16 - United States - Roscoe

Today, my 3 year-old woke up with diarrhea. The stench caused him to throw up. My husband started sympathy puking all over the floor. I'm so exhausted already that I'm considering just burning the damn house down to avoid cleaning it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 798

You deserved it 1 669

Thank you for your service

By Auburn_flame - 27/03/2019 00:00

Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 506

You deserved it 361

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 281

You deserved it 4 015

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 429

You deserved it 4 058

Zmeilerr 22

Monday 10 January 2011 19:02

Use a bucket.

spazticechidna 2

Monday 10 January 2011 19:02

Vomit in the kitchen sink instead.

Comments

zzzBOLTzzz 1

Monday 10 January 2011 19:32

I like how you gave so much detail about his diarrhea while giving little to no details about your vomiting...

Hockeyboy4280 18

Monday 10 January 2011 20:33

That's what I was thinking!!!

colhyena 3

Monday 10 January 2011 21:35

because its not a big deal to poop in a toilet someone just puked it.. but to have your face so close puking in a toilet that someone just had explosive diarrhea in is

nevaless 3

Monday 10 January 2011 19:38

if u were rich this wouldnt be such a big deal

louie111887 0

Monday 10 January 2011 19:45

wow that must suck. use the sink like everyone else has said before me.

ydi_4_suking 20

Monday 10 January 2011 19:48

Or you use the toilet. And he ***** in the sink

ChibiGirl5 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 1:54

lmao

Shiamah 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 2:52

lol!

jessisthabest 1

Monday 10 January 2011 19:49

throw up out of the window.

UrTheWorstCharac 0

Monday 10 January 2011 20:19

WTF? They didn't post this in Elizabethan England. Who the hell would throw up out of a window out of choice?

rattusrattus 18

Monday 10 January 2011 21:39

Fun? You could make a game of hitting passing pedestrians. Also, in Elizabethan England, they did not directly crap/piss/puke etc. out of the window. They did it into a pot, which was then thrown out of the window.