Health: Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning....

By AW - 10/01/2011 12:48

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 660

You deserved it 3 036

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Same thing different taste

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 728

You deserved it 3 074

By Anonymous - 12/02/2013 18:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 316

You deserved it 3 321

By fuuuuuh - 20/07/2012 05:47 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 795

You deserved it 30 936

By I stink - 18/12/2018 15:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 368

You deserved it 230

By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 11:37 - United States

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 176

You deserved it 2 775

Food for thought

By that’s what you get - 05/08/2020 17:02

Today, I warned my husband not to eat the seafood he'd left on the counter. He insisted it was fine. He’s now been in the bathroom shitting, puking and wailing for three hours. Our place is tiny and the bathroom is attached to our bedroom. The door doesn’t keep out the noise or the rancid smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 966

You deserved it 206

By Anonymous - 16/04/2016 07:16 - United States - Roscoe

Today, my 3 year-old woke up with diarrhea. The stench caused him to throw up. My husband started sympathy puking all over the floor. I'm so exhausted already that I'm considering just burning the damn house down to avoid cleaning it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 798

You deserved it 1 669

Thank you for your service

By Auburn_flame - 27/03/2019 00:00

Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 508

You deserved it 361

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 281

You deserved it 4 015

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 430

You deserved it 4 058

Zmeilerr 22

Monday 10 January 2011 19:02

Use a bucket.

spazticechidna 2

Monday 10 January 2011 19:02

Vomit in the kitchen sink instead.

Comments

perdix 29

Monday 10 January 2011 19:58

You should go outside to puke. If you keep using the bathroom, you'll never know where the food-poisoning-induced hurling ends and the diarrhea-smell-ogenic barfing begins.

octinate 17

Monday 10 January 2011 20:06

vomit in the trash can

SirRager 9

Monday 10 January 2011 20:24

Solution: garbage can/bag.

HomeAl0ne 20

Monday 10 January 2011 20:32

So, not a good time for me to ask to use the shower then?

momo1972 3

Monday 10 January 2011 20:33

yet you find time to write this FML?

badgirl90987 9

Tuesday 11 January 2011 14:14

she said she would throw up every 15 mins.. hmmm.. my guess is that she wrote this sometime in those 15 mins.

mike3775 35

Monday 10 January 2011 20:36

nothing that a little air freshener spray wouldn't take care of

Tanya33 1

Monday 10 January 2011 20:49

Your husband should have the toilet and you should take the sink. Keep the air freshener handy.

iislix1ii 19

Wednesday 6 July 2011 18:12

i doubt air freshener would work in a shitty situation like this. Stinks to be them.

FMLforALL 0

Monday 10 January 2011 21:52

Can't you puke outside?

InBetweenDreams 0

Monday 10 January 2011 22:14

You should yak in the sink, or a bucket. Or take a Gravol.

alexFYL 11

Monday 10 January 2011 22:47

Why don't you cozy up on the couch, watch some tv and cuddle a trash bin to your chest? That way he can have the bathroom all to himself and you don't have to get up and rush to the toilet every 15 minutes.