Health: Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning....

By AW - 10/01/2011 12:48

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 660

You deserved it 3 036

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 728

You deserved it 3 073

By Anonymous - 12/02/2013 18:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 315

You deserved it 3 321

By fuuuuuh - 20/07/2012 05:47 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 795

You deserved it 30 934

By I stink - 18/12/2018 15:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 365

You deserved it 230

By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 11:37 - United States

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 174

You deserved it 2 775

Food for thought

By that’s what you get - 05/08/2020 17:02

Today, I warned my husband not to eat the seafood he'd left on the counter. He insisted it was fine. He’s now been in the bathroom shitting, puking and wailing for three hours. Our place is tiny and the bathroom is attached to our bedroom. The door doesn’t keep out the noise or the rancid smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 966

You deserved it 206

By Anonymous - 16/04/2016 07:16 - United States - Roscoe

Today, my 3 year-old woke up with diarrhea. The stench caused him to throw up. My husband started sympathy puking all over the floor. I'm so exhausted already that I'm considering just burning the damn house down to avoid cleaning it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 798

You deserved it 1 669

Thank you for your service

By Auburn_flame - 27/03/2019 00:00

Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 506

You deserved it 361

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 281

You deserved it 4 015

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 429

You deserved it 4 058

Zmeilerr 22

Monday 10 January 2011 19:02

Use a bucket.

spazticechidna 2

Monday 10 January 2011 19:02

Vomit in the kitchen sink instead.

Comments

Zmeilerr 22

Monday 10 January 2011 19:02

Use a bucket.

ACanadaGuy 0

Monday 10 January 2011 20:36

^This

rkcxenocide 0

Monday 10 January 2011 21:57

Slop bucket.

kikibisweet 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 5:01

I had food poisoning once and it was coming out of both ends if you know what I mean.

clarkbrianna11 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 7:04

Sounds like you need Orbit! :)

lolmigosh 15

Wednesday 12 October 2011 21:30

I was just about to say that!

Zmeilerr 22

Monday 10 January 2011 19:02

Can a mod delete this please? Double post -__-

unfortunate_13 5

Monday 10 January 2011 19:02

he takes the toilet, you take the sink?

daisiebud 18

Monday 7 May 2012 15:32

the only thing i would be worried about is that, if it's chunky, it might clog the sink up. however, since it's every fifteen minutes, this seems highly unlikely. go with the sink.

teentee401 36

Sunday 6 July 2014 18:29

Nnnnnn idstd

spazticechidna 2

Monday 10 January 2011 19:02

Vomit in the kitchen sink instead.

ahriel 0

Monday 10 January 2011 19:24

I was gunna suggest that..

Filitov 0

Monday 10 January 2011 21:04

I was also going to advise this. Unless their kitchen sink doesn't have a garbage disposal, in which case she would probably be better off using a bucket or trash can.