Love: Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After I said... - FML

By randomjulz - 16/06/2011 03:53 - United States

Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After I said no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 275

You deserved it 9 977

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Same thing different taste

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 926

You deserved it 6 520

Are you kidding me right now?

By Not your maid - 29/03/2023 16:00

Today, my husband had the cheek to ask me, “What’s for dinner tonight?” and “I have no clean slacks for tomorrow can you wash me some?” no more than 10 minutes after he told me he wants us to see other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 140

By Thanks Honey - 05/06/2013 15:08 - United States

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 601

You deserved it 5 195

Justify My Love

By carrie - 09/05/2021 14:00

Today, my husband thinks I don’t love him. Why? Because I won’t poop with him in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 119

Hot air

By SuperSleuth - 07/10/2021 11:01 - United States - Miami

Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 351

By For - 28/12/2009 14:00 - United States

Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 657

You deserved it 7 000

By Anonymous - 10/11/2012 02:09 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 584

You deserved it 4 537

By Anonymous - 10/06/2013 01:52 - United States

Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 696

You deserved it 7 923

By Husband - 22/11/2016 14:33 - United States - Washington

Today, I asked my husband if he wanted to visit my parents for Thanksgiving. He choked on his own spit to avoid answering the question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 330

You deserved it 1 530

Dude, gross!

By juggalo2 - 17/04/2024 03:00 - United States - Troy

Today, I came out of the bathroom and caught my husband peeing against a tree in the backyard. I told him how disgusting that was. He said, "Fine. Back to peeing in the sink." FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 461

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Top comments

YourDone6 8

Thursday 16 June 2011 8:47

come see this hairy ******...no.. what kind of husband are you?

ahhhFYL 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 8:56

maybe he was hiding your gift in there. so inconsiderate of you.

Comments

chui281 0

Friday 17 June 2011 8:22

your a bad wife! your husband was trying to open up to you and yet you ignored him and putted him on this site! your a horrible wife!

cbrxcx5790 0

Friday 17 June 2011 10:10

turds are awesome i tell my wife all the time to check out my turds. you only say come check out my turd if its worth checking out. so your husband must have had a good. he proba lybwanted to show you that his turd looked like obama, a piece of shit!

wellnowthatsucks 5

Saturday 24 September 2011 18:33

exactly

goliatron 9

Friday 17 June 2011 12:53

A woman should not only bask in the VISUAL glory of her husband's turd, but in the OLFACTORY glory. Take a whiff, hun, or be divorced!

dorkychick 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 4:13

lmfao thats hilarious

mamaxony 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 11:39

my fiancé talks to me while I do anything on the toilet but calls me creepy if I talk to him when he is peeing. He says it's different cause he stands....

NoKittyMyPotPie 3

Sunday 19 June 2011 2:09

If you were my wife, I would have divorced you after that. And then told you to make me a sandwich.

hoopla12345 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 6:22

thats gross but funny

ImNoSuperman13 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 7:12

your husband sounds like he could be my best friend

VBerryFML 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 21:44

hahaha, this just made me laugh out loud. men are brilliant sometimes!

epicepidural 2

Monday 20 June 2011 11:51

just spit in his face why dont ya.. people these days. you all make me sick.

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Keywords

Annoying Education Confused University Divorce Awkward Love AITA Sex Dreams Relatable Miscellaneous Embarrassing Racism Work Weird Motherhood Cute Pregnancy Kids Harassment Animals Family Poopoo peepee Surprise Health Roommate Food My ex Texting

The Top

Today, my parents are mad because I turned down a job. It offered below minimum wage to work 12-hour shifts, six days a week, and the list of benefits was less than the occupational hazards. When I showed them what McDonald's was paying and their benefits in comparison, they accused me of being lazy and entitled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 111

Today, I was on a first date and wanted to tell my date a joke. I started laughing halfway through telling it because I found it hilarious. She didn’t laugh. Turns out, I completely forgot the punchline and just sat there cackling like a lunatic. Now I’m getting ghosted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 506

The Top

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 284

You deserved it 19 003

Today, my boyfriend uploaded a pic to snapchat that said "the love of my life." It was a pic of our beautiful baby girl. Then he uploaded another pic that said "the 2nd love of my life." It was a pic of the fuel truck he drives for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 813

You deserved it 4 493

Today, I got lectured by my father for cussing out one of his old friends, after the man insulted me at a formal gathering. This man had called my race into question with a slur. Dad swore up and down how respectable the man is and that I lacked "civility." This old fart of a racist happens to be a council bigwig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 114

Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 64

Today, at my work at a designer clothing store, we received a list of photos from the police of known shoplifters. My coworkers were looking at the list saying "Eugh, look at that one: you'd shoplift with a face like that". I walked over and saw that they were looking at a photo of my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 615

You deserved it 6 401

Today, I began worrying I have social anxiety, all because while getting dressed I convinced myself that everyone would talk about me behind my back if I wore a striped shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 345

You deserved it 357