Animals: Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because... - FML

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By anonomys - 05/09/2011 19:19 - Canada

Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 288

You deserved it 10 129

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Same thing different taste

Alarm

By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 14:26 - United States

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 600

You deserved it 4 014

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 07:37 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 794

You deserved it 13 983

Cozy

By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 83

By Noname - 02/02/2009 04:31 - United States

Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 824

You deserved it 7 064

Threat Neutralized

By Anonymous - 23/07/2018 18:36 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 320

You deserved it 733

By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 464

You deserved it 812

By fartz - 31/08/2013 06:04 - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 525

You deserved it 8 108

By Dogsbody - 27/05/2019 02:30

Today, I noticed that my dad scolds me in the same tone of voice that he uses to scold our two dogs. Gives a whole new meaning to being treated like a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 610

You deserved it 252

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 05:26 - United States - Burbank

Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 354

You deserved it 2 467

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 487

You deserved it 556

Next

Top comments

McMike10 1

Monday 5 September 2011 22:52

Maybe he thought you looked fetching

saintdalman 4

Monday 5 September 2011 22:53

Do you do tricks with peanut butter too?

Comments

Lenho 26

Tuesday 6 September 2011 1:36

Tonight I'm... gonna dream about... mmmh... controlling my farts! Sure, everyone else does, so they don't fart while they sleep. It's so natural to be consciuous about those things while asleep!

paigeminem 3

Tuesday 6 September 2011 2:54

Oooo awk!!

bradserbert 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 3:34

That's what you get

nevarezromero 6

Tuesday 6 September 2011 3:45

awkward.

KatherineJ 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 3:49

I hope he enjoys time in the 'dog house', cause thats where he's going! Have fun cursing him out later!

katieloveshim 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 3:51

well that REALLY sucks xD

swinglifeaway123 8

Tuesday 6 September 2011 3:57

2words(maybe one, not sure) Gas-x. Or is it 'gas x'? Who cares? Just stop farting.

daxter136 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 4:12

Episode of family guy

sweetheartxoxo88 7

Tuesday 6 September 2011 4:18

I literally LOL'd at this.

rmbennin 10

Tuesday 6 September 2011 4:40

Are you married to Brian Griffin?!

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