Animals: Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because... - FML

By anonomys - 05/09/2011 19:19 - Canada

Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 278

You deserved it 10 126

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Same thing different taste

Alarm

By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 14:26 - United States

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 591

You deserved it 4 010

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 07:37 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 785

You deserved it 13 979

By Noname - 02/02/2009 04:31 - United States

Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 819

You deserved it 7 060

Threat Neutralized

By Anonymous - 23/07/2018 18:36 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 315

You deserved it 730

By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 455

You deserved it 809

By fartz - 31/08/2013 06:04 - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 520

You deserved it 8 107

By Dogsbody - 27/05/2019 02:30

Today, I noticed that my dad scolds me in the same tone of voice that he uses to scold our two dogs. Gives a whole new meaning to being treated like a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 609

You deserved it 250

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 05:26 - United States - Burbank

Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 349

You deserved it 2 466

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 481

You deserved it 554

The "He's probably thinking of other girls" meme gone wrong

By Anonymous - 25/10/2021 23:00

Today, my insomnia got so bad that I became convinced my husband was having an affair in our bed right next to me. I punched him so hard in the shoulder that he awoke from a sound sleep, farted, and then shook it off and went back to sleep unfazed. I'm so jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 1 402

Next

Top comments

McMike10 1

Monday 5 September 2011 22:52

Maybe he thought you looked fetching

saintdalman 4

Monday 5 September 2011 22:53

Do you do tricks with peanut butter too?

Comments

XxBiggyExX 0

Monday 5 September 2011 23:07

This reminds of Brian Griffin

ladiesman219 4

Monday 5 September 2011 23:41

That one episode with new Brian xD

Jacobt24 19

Monday 5 September 2011 23:58

Or the episode where he farts and wakes himself up . . .

jacob128 4

Monday 5 September 2011 23:09

Well dont try to hold it bc youll blow up (south park)

hawaiianfire 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 14:14

She has a future in Brazilian fart **** (south park)

ikickgingers 15

Tuesday 6 September 2011 17:33

Not related to post/// When I think south park I now equate that to the human centipede. I just threw up.

BrianAlarcon 0

Monday 5 September 2011 23:09

Your like Brian from family guy!!

GrammarNazzzzzi 6

Tuesday 6 September 2011 3:05

His what?

thatbritkid 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 7:40

#18 nice pic

alone_unafraid 0

Saturday 10 September 2011 8:07

Your vs. you're. FAIL

Livzii 5

Monday 5 September 2011 23:11

wow that dog has problems

miserypoison 13

Monday 5 September 2011 23:14

Doggystyle too.

itschrisssybro 8

Monday 5 September 2011 23:23

Those must be some pretty bombing farts for you to wake yourself up...

Buzzy123 7

Monday 5 September 2011 23:27

He just means you give him a bone alot and wants to you to fetch it. (If you know what I mean.) ^.^

bcgirl69 0

Monday 5 September 2011 23:38

Omg my hubby tells me I do the same thing! Lmao

Biggy2010 3

Monday 5 September 2011 23:40

haha. cracked me up. can you imagine it. she farts and starts to smell it and starts to twitch and wakes up. funny as hell.

ArthursLifeSucks 2

Monday 5 September 2011 23:44

My g/f from back in the day said one night she rolled over and cuddled up against my back and when she wrapped her arm around me, I farted on her. Looking back now, the bitch deserved it.

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Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 4 693

Today, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can only have sex with really fat men, because that’s what turns me on, yet as soon as the sex is over, through no fault of theirs, I have to run to the toilet to be sick because I can’t believe what I just had sex with. I’m so messed up in the head. FML

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The Top

Today, someone left their drug bag on the table in the lounge at my place, probably a friend, and probably a mistake. The next minute the cops knock on the door and force their way in. Immediately the cop spots the drug bag and cuffs me. It wasn't even my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 856

Today, I was beaten up by a random dude for trying to pick my own son up from school. I'm pasty white, my wife is black, and our son was visibly born black, so I was beaten up for attempted kidnapping, and it’s not the first time it’s happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 129

Today, I left the sliding glass door to our townhouse open because it was such a beautiful day. Our new puppy, whom we have been potty training, peed in the yard and I praised him relentlessly. He then walked inside the house, pooped on the carpet, and ran back outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 283

You deserved it 7 296

Today, I tried to be productive and got dressed in real clothes instead of sweatpants. I spent the next four hours on the couch binge-watching Netflix and pretending I had plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 365

Today, my family and I were checking into Dubai airport. I had already checked in and was waiting with my brother and sister near a pillar for my parents. I leaned on the pillar and hit my elbow on the fire alarm. A bunch of airport officials ran towards me and asked where the fire was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 695

You deserved it 14 609

Today, my girlfriend screamed at me for throwing away her food, calling me a sick, controlling psycho. When I pointed out that the seafood pasta I tossed was a week old and almost certainly rotten, she dug the box out of the trash and ate it to prove a point. Now she's got food poisoning and somehow it's my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 118