Kids: Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs....

By hfs palm - 21/06/2015 21:37 - United States

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 646

You deserved it 2 549

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Same thing different taste

You're under arrest

By poo_shoe123 - 31/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 621

You deserved it 10 233

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 04:44 - United States - Buena Park

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 860

You deserved it 2 519

Worst babysitter ever

By shira512 - 10/08/2012 23:59 - United Kingdom - Romford

Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 241

You deserved it 4 050

It's always in the most obvious place

By Anonymous - 27/02/2023 14:00

Today, my toddler thought it would be funny to hide my car keys. After searching for hours, I found them in his toy box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 187

Call the Midwife-slash-Locksmith

By mama bear - 16/10/2019 18:00

Today, my one-year-old son locked me out of the house. I had no spare key and both him and my 4-month-old decided that was the perfect time to scream bloody murder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 339

By Sebastian20 - 08/05/2013 11:05 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 332

You deserved it 15 619

Gotcha

By Pissed - 28/10/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 85

ADHD is a curse

By Anonymous - 11/06/2023 10:00

Today, my teen son's ADHD is so bad that he wandered off WITH my car key and WITHOUT his phone, so I had to get a lift to our family event. When we got back, he was sat watching TV and asked me where I’d been all day. It took everything I had not to scream in his face, "YOUR SISTER'S FUCKING WEDDING!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 193

By Anonymous - 12/06/2019 02:10

Today, my husband came home with tears in his eyes. I ran and asked him why he was crying. He said he wasn't, but he finally admitting to talking to a woman in a bar who, when she noticed his wedding ring, sprayed him with mace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 324

You deserved it 258

By wife - 22/02/2015 03:47 - United States - Oceanside

Today, my husband lost his keys again. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 370

You deserved it 8 701

nonsensical 26

Monday 22 June 2015 11:14

Honey, I cuffed the kids.

appygirlify 17

Monday 22 June 2015 11:13

That's gonna be a bit of a mess. :/ Good luck op.

Comments

BabyCakes818 16

Monday 22 June 2015 19:51

Well, at least he wasn't handcuffed to anything... XD

vampire1618 5

Monday 22 June 2015 20:33

Either some sort of criminal conduct, police fooling around, or a kink.

bugluv3 7

Monday 22 June 2015 20:40

If they are novelty cuffs (toy or bedroom) there is a little tab you can pull to release them. If they are real I'm rather concerned

JCRouzer29 27

Monday 22 June 2015 21:28

Next lesson kids, lockpicking!

channelmonica 17

Monday 22 June 2015 21:55

My boyfriend is an officer OP! He has a key(x You'd probably have to drive over 1,000 miles to get it though...

ColonelCusswords 24

Monday 22 June 2015 22:24

Handcuffs arnt something you can get off easily, they get nice and tight and possition under the metacarpals. You could break your hand trying to get out.

Hunter_the_Ninja 22

Monday 22 June 2015 23:15

Try to approach it with a sense of humor. In the long run it may turn out to be a hilarious memory. Good luck OP

ZelmaSlayer 30

Tuesday 23 June 2015 1:43

#55 Read his bio.

sylverdrag_fml 9

Tuesday 23 June 2015 6:18

4 hours??? Come on, search "open handcuffs" on Youtube and follow the instructions. There are about 20,000 videos on the subject, using anything from paper clips to straws.