Love: Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm... - FML

By Hunterxx - 07/08/2010 05:21 - United States

Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 759

You deserved it 7 235

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Same thing different taste

By mike oxsmall - 16/06/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 051

You deserved it 6 556

Single shot

By irulan - 14/01/2020 03:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 540

You deserved it 599

By Lilly_28 - 11/08/2009 14:01 - United States

Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 981

You deserved it 18 450

By wookieewhosshe - 19/03/2019 13:00 - United Kingdom - Sutton Coldfield

Today, my building's fire alarm went off. Unfortunately, this coincided with sexy time, and the loud alarm made me jumpy, making it extremely difficult to untie my naked boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 125

You deserved it 397

By hellphone_fml - 01/07/2019 20:00

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 379

You deserved it 659

By Anonymous - 06/11/2010 04:31 - United States

Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 629

You deserved it 34 567

Oh, hi

By Fifi - 16/04/2018 05:00

Today, my husband popped out to the hotel gym while I jumped in the shower. After a while I heard a knock on the door. Thinking it was him, I cheekily opened the door in my naked glory to be greeted by the maid. I didn’t know do-not-disturb signs aren’t double sided. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 546

You deserved it 3 454

Classic

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 00:00

Today, my wife woke me up, saying her husband was home and that I needed to escape before he caught me. I was still struggling with the window when I remembered I’m her husband and she was laughing, filming my half-asleep ass trying to escape from being caught by myself cheating with my own wife. Duh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 1 442

By avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 203

You deserved it 3 115

Carrie?

By Lucy - 22/03/2022 06:00

Today, I faked a burglar alarm to see what my sleeping husband would do. The instant he thought a burglar was in the house, I thought he'd yell out for me and come looking. Nope, he yelled out for his limited edition Air Jordans, and ran into his office to check if any were missing. Priorities, I suppose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 1 015

Next

Top comments

hoppityhophop 0

Saturday 7 August 2010 12:44

Well, that's a bit stupid.

allmidnighteyes 10

Saturday 7 August 2010 12:51

stfu atticuz anyone who hasn't slept naked is missing out on something amazing.

Comments

FarSide 22

Saturday 7 August 2010 21:08

If a burglar alarm, then you have shit for brains OP. If a fire alarm, you are just brainless for not having a robe nearby. Either way, you seem to be a reactionary, acting without thinking first. I hope your husband took pictures... otherwise, he is just as brainless.

OneDayAttaTime 2

Saturday 7 August 2010 21:16

if the alarm was going off why would you go outside? that's probably where it would be most dangerous in a real situation

missmurderx 8

Saturday 7 August 2010 21:38

I only pressed ydi because I wanted to be the 1000th. lol, sorry op. :) <3

lundo 3

Sunday 8 August 2010 2:06

ydi because i fail to see whats wrong with this

hcovballer247 0

Sunday 8 August 2010 4:29

oh wow! you didnt at least have time to go run and grab something to cover up with? idk if this is a fyl cause that stinks, or a ydi cause you couldve grabbed at least something to cover up with.

yourbarbiiedoll 0

Sunday 8 August 2010 4:33

I sleep naked it feels goooooooooood

imakemlaff 3

Sunday 8 August 2010 4:36

got any pictures?

Flipflops4ever 0

Sunday 8 August 2010 5:48

Umm, did the wording change b/c the husband has realized what an idiot he was & is now speaking to her? BTW sleeping naked is real comfy esp in summer...& even lounging around naked as long as u r indoors.

_Undead_ 0

Sunday 8 August 2010 6:00

pics or it didn't happen

lancegonyeau 0

Sunday 8 August 2010 16:21

hope you trimed the hedges

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The Top

Today, I saw an e-mail notification for my husband regarding a flight to New York this Wednesday. Thanksgiving is on Thursday and we have no relatives in New York. When I asked him about it, he confessed that he’s gonna see a lady he met online and that he wants a divorce. I’m due to give birth next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 95

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did I remembered there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper; he never did, and came out without socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 528

You deserved it 5 802

The Top

Today, I had a dream that I was 25, unemployed, living with my parents, and still completely in love with someone who no longer feels the same way about me. Oh wait... it wasn't a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 335

You deserved it 7 016

Today, my girlfriend received a scam email about her great uncle dying and leaving her money. She not only believed it, but she also used my credit card details for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 461

You deserved it 3 089

Today, at the store, I noticed a girl eyeing a chocolate bunny. Her mom refused to buy it, saying they didn't have enough money. She started crying, so I decided to make her day and offered to buy it for her. Her mom reacted by slapping me across the face and calling me a "pedo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 694

You deserved it 8 603

Today, while walking down the street, I was violently beaten up by a man in a Darth Vader outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 625

You deserved it 165

Today, my father called me cruel and heartless. Why? Because while I was at school, our dogs opened the door to my room and managed to shut themselves inside all day without food or water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 90

Today, I thought I might need some anger-management classes, after I punched a hole in a kitchen cabinet when my dog wouldn't stop yapping every time the rooster my neighbors just got made a noise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 347

You deserved it 28 543