Intimacy: Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents;... - FML

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By soontobewidow - 28/03/2015 09:20 - Turkey - Istanbul

Spicy

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 503

You deserved it 3 993

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Same thing different taste

Slapstick

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 04:00

Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 138

By KO - 12/10/2014 16:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 849

You deserved it 4 390

By Anonymous - 05/06/2019 14:06

Spicy

Today, my husband has always been clumsy, but am I alone in thinking it takes a special level of clumsy to trip over while naked and land with his penis in the mouth of the village slut across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 588

You deserved it 293

By Anonymous - 15/08/2015 09:32 - Canada - Prince George

Spicy

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 853

You deserved it 5 086

By Anonymous - 19/05/2013 17:35 - United States - Honolulu

Spicy

Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 834

You deserved it 3 143

When pranking goes too far

By Anonymous - 27/03/2021 20:01

Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 063

You deserved it 197

Date night

By So much for a friendship - 08/12/2023 13:00 - Israel

Spicy

Today, I'm in hospital after a bad accident. An old friend of mine came to my ward, looked around, and asked if I needed any help. I asked him to stay and talk a bit, because we haven't seen each other since his wedding. He said, "Nah bro, I gotta go, or my wife will kill me. We're planning a sex night, by the way", and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 190

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Spicy

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 613

You deserved it 2 707

By Anonymous - 23/01/2015 14:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 141

You deserved it 3 068

Busted

By Anonymous - 27/05/2016 19:09 - United States - Lady Lake

Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 813

You deserved it 7 250

Next

Top comments

Gesula 24

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:07

mildly concerned by the username

Nevracceptdefeat 26

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:06

Dont you hate it when that happens

Comments

aokes90 15

Tuesday 31 March 2015 16:20

Oh no! That happens to me and my gf all the time. I hope he gets better soon.

netflixjunkie8 8

Tuesday 31 March 2015 16:48

Oh damn..what an asshole.

yesmydear 7

Tuesday 31 March 2015 20:26

I am so sorry, I hope he gets what he deserves in your divorce!

SCbaseball6 8

Tuesday 31 March 2015 23:52

"Soontobewidow" lol nice

MEGGANZZ 12

Saturday 4 April 2015 19:27

Should I be concerned about your username❔❔❔❔❔

TRKade 15

Sunday 5 April 2015 2:30

Hole-in-one

fedorov5549 9

Monday 6 April 2015 9:10

Huh, fyl.

greeneyedx 23

Wednesday 8 April 2015 15:48

Sucks for OP. :( Cheaters are the absolute worst. It's more understandable when people take them back if they cheated once and confessed them self, but repeat offenders aren't going to stop even if you take them back and they swear they won't do it again. Anyone else think a colon would've been better than a semicolon?

shemademedoit 20

Friday 10 April 2015 9:25

love the name ? Madge me laugh after I read your post

Mazie_B 7

Monday 13 April 2015 6:26

*Doctor Evil meme* "ACCIDENTS"

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The Top

Today, I found out my husband has another Instagram account. I tried adding it but it’s a private account. When I asked about it, he claimed he didn’t know what I was talking about and threw a fit about how I’m “butting into people’s business.” I went to check the account again to show him. “User not found.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 214

Today, I called off my engagement, after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job, and in anticipation of getting married, I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed, so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 087

You deserved it 9 216

The Top

Today, I was working from home when I mistakenly turned on my video camera during a conference call. I was wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt with a "Cannibal Corpse" album cover on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 750

Today, I realized one of my best friends was only friends with me because I would take her shopping, spoil her regularly, and help her out financially. She moved to another province and only contacted me whenever she wanted money. After I refused a couple of times, she deleted me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 781

You deserved it 2 730

Today, my dad is too old to drive, period, and yet while I was at work my wife thought it was a good idea to let him try her new Mercedes, which by the way I bought and insured. He used the accelerator like he was driving a shitbox Nissan and destroyed our local kebab shop's big front window and door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 150

Today, when my boyfriend came over he was on his phone. We spent about 15 minutes together before having sex, then he made a phone call and said he had to leave. I could hear him from my window apologising to his coworker because he “just had to do something real quick but was now free to talk again.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 166

Today, I walked in on my porn addicted roommate watching a gynecology exam online. He asked me to watch it with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 608

You deserved it 4 266

Today, I finished my internship working in a government lab. I got paid $4000 for the summer. I was talking to my cousin, who said that when he worked as a carnie last summer he made $8000. I get paid half as much for doing research as a carnie does for serving people sno-cones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 760

You deserved it 5 695