Kids: Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a...

By Gross... - 16/08/2011 06:22 - United States

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 631

You deserved it 3 273

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Same thing different taste

By oh for f*cks sake - 20/03/2017 12:00 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 825

You deserved it 414

By That idiot - 28/08/2014 02:33 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 407

You deserved it 3 625

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 529

You deserved it 64 339

By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 02:00

Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 270

You deserved it 478

Pissed

By holy - 21/10/2009 21:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 075

You deserved it 33 446

Dude, gross!

By utensils123 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 646

You deserved it 2 357

It's called fashion Susan, look it up

By Anonymous - 16/07/2020 23:01

Today, I thought it'd be funny to give my younger brother a wedgie. I found the thong I thought I'd lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 732

You deserved it 434

By Anonymous - 06/11/2010 11:45 - Australia

Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 324

You deserved it 5 601

By ilikeirishducks - 19/06/2009 13:51 - Italy

Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 804

You deserved it 21 101

Business is business

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 06:00

Today, my best friend and I were taking bikini selfies in my backyard hot tub when I caught my little brother peeping and taking photos from around a corner behind us. Now I know how he can afford his vapes, despite not having a job and being in middle school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 260

AcidLacedBong 5

Tuesday 16 August 2011 11:53

Send him to Americas got talent!!

doctor_awesome 8

Tuesday 16 August 2011 11:53

ass straws. so you can use your mouth for more important things.

Comments

hobbsicle805 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 17:59

next Americas got talent anyone?

kaykay20 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 18:03

That sounds very unhealthy to suck up piss invested chlorine water. Has he been feeling ok?

lobum 12

Tuesday 16 August 2011 18:09

does he give private lessons?

Isoldael 27

Tuesday 16 August 2011 18:16

Thumbs up for the stephen lynch reference :D

mannykinz 9

Tuesday 16 August 2011 18:33

your parents raised this dumbass.

freshx_fml 6

Tuesday 16 August 2011 18:45

Sofa king funny!

Chrispayne 4

Tuesday 16 August 2011 18:47

When do u get to met his boyfriend

CAveMAn3719 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:09

Ha ur brothers a fag

xrainbowshadowx 17

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:15

Your brother has mad skills :D

bubo_fml 10

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:22

I foresee a future career in gay ****, or, at least, a prized twink...

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Love Am I overreacting? Facebook Social Media AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Students Relatable Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Friends Awkward

The Top

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 580

You deserved it 5 576

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 3 963

The Top

Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 073

You deserved it 3 724

Today, my wife screamed and threatened to leave me… again. She does this about once a year, in response to an argument that she feels frustrated by. We have three amazing children and we're mostly happy in between these outbursts. Today she did it in front of our 6 year-old, who is now crying about our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 144

Today, I confessed to my coworker that I'm interested in her romantically. She turned me down, saying that I'm a great guy, but that she basically doesn't want mixed-race children. She said she isn't racist, though, so I guess it's all okay, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 916

You deserved it 3 327

Today, my parents are on holiday, which means I have the house to myself. Wild parties? Hot girls? Loads of beer? No. Flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 948

You deserved it 6 703

Today, I found out my extremely anti-war relatives hate me because they think I served in the Army, after hearing I was "a vet". I'm a veterinarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 547

You deserved it 3 098

Today, I jokingly went over to a an attractive female co-worker and said "you look like you need a hug". She told me she wasn't feeling well and didn't want to be touched. No more than 30 seconds after our encounter she ran to give one of our more attractive male co-workers a hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 373

You deserved it 11 264