By DontGetSlapped - 18/02/2013 00:24 - United States - Conway

Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 527
You deserved it 2 532
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Top comments

iloveshim 14

We see where her loyalties lie, with the hot pockets. Now we know for sure bitches ain't nothin but hoes and tricks.

114 4

Comments

sux4u121 10

Are you insinuating that speeding tickets are more important than hot pockets? Ridiculous

12 22
Demonfish 14

11- no, he isn't, he appears to be using something, called a sense of humour.

29 2
AKGirlinSD 20

To 1:... until the mom does get cancer. It'll hit her like a rock to a head that she should never use cancer (that she doesn't have!) as an excuse.

9 1
420Zombie 17

it's OK 11, I picked up that sarcasm and laughed

4 0
iloveshim 14

We see where her loyalties lie, with the hot pockets. Now we know for sure bitches ain't nothin but hoes and tricks.

114 4
supportcommand 17

It's " bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks". You can curse here, they don't mind.

27 4
supportcommand 17

Technically bitches are female dogs. So it's technically not cursing.

3 20
liv_graham 7

#2 I'm wondering if you're trying to pretend the girl in the picture is you. It's Nina Dobrev.

2 1
crazytwinsmom 25

We must really like those hot pockets!

5 10
fresh247 10

I can understand if the hot pocket was Ham and cheese

42 3
TheRandomIndian 17

I like the ones with like four different cheeses in them better than ham and cheese

5 2
TrueTriage 16

I love the ones that don't give me diarrhea, yet to be discovered....

47 2
TheRandomIndian 17

Keep trying 20, don't give up

19 1
gracehi 31

My favorites are the mozzarella and meatball ones. One time I ate them for almost every meal for a weak because there was a vending machine in my barracks and I didn't feel like going to the galley. It didn't come out well in the end, of you know what I mean.

1 0
DutchBasterd 15

we don't have those in the Netherlands. :(

2 2
NoFlippinWai 24

oh you don't know what you're missing. *wishes I could dhl you some*

0 0
twaumat 28

why would having cancer get you out of a ticket? but fyl

13 17
sux4u121 10

It may not be a solid excuse to evade the law, but she was probably trying to pull the sympathy card, it's a pretty low move.

26 0
Demonfish 14

Possibly a case of: "must..get..to....h-hospital...emergency....ch-ch-chemo-therapy" A real dick move however it manifested itself..

12 3
hawright 13

My tried and true method is asking about becoming a state trooper because, because "I've always wanted to be one." It's worked a perfect 7 for 7. I have to resort to extreme measures because I don't have lovely lady bumps.

23 1
journeytotheend 16

My aunt got out of one when she actually did have cancer! "I don't care, I have cancer... I'll be gone before I have to pay it"

18 2
Coyotay_Yelnats 4

Gotta do watcha gotta do, speeding tix ain't the bizz

0 20
iOceanus 18

Really? Who talks like this?

4 0
the_smart_way 10

White boys on the Internet.

0 0
sux4u121 10

I think everybody knows that arguing with parents never works under any circumstances. Parents can sometimes be the most unreasonable people, just ignore her shit and know that you're being the better person.

13 2
TurtleSmile 14

Your mother does in fact make an extremely valid argument. You don't just go around eating the last hot pocket without first having a discussion with everyone. C'mon OP.

16 1
TheRandomIndian 17

If its about the last hot pocket, it'll be an argument, not a discussion.

9 2
Alycat6363 15

You don't discuss who gets the last hot pocket, you eat it in secret and then pretend it wasn't you.

9 0
happle 21

Is there a hot pocket shortage or something?

0 0
TheRandomIndian 17

No and there is no shortage of any sarcasm either.

0 2
facepalmtoomuch 8

You deserve it, the poor woman has cancer.

23 13
DaDezza244 31

How does OP deserves it? Also, if you've read the FML properly, you will have noticed the word 'faked' before the words 'having cancer'

7 12
laden_swallow09 34

I assume its an attempt at humor, too. I know as a fact it wasn't funny, either.

3 6
witchdoctor1 9

I can't help but notice your pic goes hand in hand with your comment. I give you props whether you're serious or not.

0 0
thetguy 4

Hey think of it this way! At least she was trying to spare you from the explosive ***** you get afterwards..

2 3
TheRandomIndian 17

Am I the only one who can eat hot pockets without my anus blowing up afterwards?

7 0