Miscellaneous: Today, my mom duly informed me I'm the reason people have middle... - FML

By edulover - 01/01/2011 01:16 - United States

Today, my mom duly informed me I'm the reason people have middle fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 720

You deserved it 6 411

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Same thing different taste

By DaoOfPow - 23/05/2015 07:51 - United States - Danbury

Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 291

You deserved it 3 230

The bird's the word

By anonymous - 26/06/2012 06:05 - United States - Ridgewood

Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 093

You deserved it 6 063

Mommy's boy

By simon - 11/01/2018 06:00

Today, my mother, who insists on sticking her nose into every aspect of my life, found out I'm only "middle management" and called my boss to criticize her for undervaluing me, demanding I be promoted immediately. I'm now the laughing stock of my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 394

You deserved it 546

By apple - 16/07/2010 19:38 - Netherlands

Today, it's my 18th birthday. I was telling my friends a story when my mom started talking. I simply said 'Mom...' so she'd realize she interrupted me. She gave me the finger and called me rude in front of all my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 650

You deserved it 6 271

By Anonymous - 29/07/2014 18:15 - United States

Today, I asked my mom why nobody likes me. She reeled off about a dozen reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 051

You deserved it 9 993

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

By Anonymous - 06/09/2019 20:03

Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 508

You deserved it 181

Keeping up

By Anonymous - 09/05/2019 22:00

Today, I found out that my mother has been telling everybody that I’m a lesbian, because both of her best friends have at least one gay child each, and she was feeling left out. This explains why people have been treating me differently the last few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 413

You deserved it 153

By Anonymous - 11/10/2010 07:41 - United States

Today, my mom rolled up the car window on my fingers. She thought my yelling and crying was because I was throwing a tantrum. I'm 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 464

You deserved it 4 019

By anonymous - 27/06/2015 17:40 - United States

Today, my mom said that if I wasn't her daughter, she probably wouldn't even like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 196

You deserved it 2 882

By Anonymous - 09/05/2014 23:57 - United States - Akron

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 440

You deserved it 4 151

Next

Top comments

giantsfan2010 23

Saturday 1 January 2011 6:20

Tell your mom she's the reason douches were invented.

Rawrzie 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 6:19

well, without you we wouldn't have any fun.

Comments

Crissie212 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 15:50

Reminds me of my mum. She doesn't sounds so nice.

anarchyologist 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 17:31

awww.... how sad. your right, fyl. you should go kill yourself now. is it just me or are all of these starting to really suck?

tiggyt 2

Saturday 1 January 2011 19:39

Clearly you have no idea what "duly" means. That's the most redundant and ignorant use of a word I've seen in quite a while. You are stupid.

Arschloch04 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 23:25

Ask her how her anal fissure is doing in public.

Choconumm 8

Saturday 1 January 2011 23:46

Ha ruby84 has a win :D

crimson_alize 2

Sunday 2 January 2011 0:58

ur mom is so right! fmls r supposed to be funny. Im sure tons of ppl would happily cut off their middle finger and shove it up ur ass. Dont be such a puss dude. Ur mom said that. Boo hoo call dr. Phil

Wandering_Witch 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 1:56

Sucks for you but I REALLY wish there was a 'like' button for this one because it's hilarious. XD

AwayWithTheWind 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 8:17

- #71, just click the Facebook button to share it on Facebook then like it :P

persimmon 0

Monday 3 January 2011 5:01

you're incorrectly using the word duly. look it up.

Orieo56 0

Monday 3 January 2011 6:03

You're probably a douche bag. YDI.

EXTREMOAMADEUS 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 4:24

i saw this on a funny jokes app awesone mom btw

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 549

You deserved it 7 856

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 535

You deserved it 10 056

The Top

Today, I celebrated my one year anniversary with my boyfriend. Since I'm bad at writing, I took a list from the internet titled "100 Things That I Love About You" and gave it to him to read while I read what he wrote for me. It was exactly the same thing, taken from the same page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 697

You deserved it 6 860

Today, I decided to surprise my wife at her softball game. I saw her distinctive motorcycle jacket through the canvas dugout wall and decided that I would feel her up from behind, to surprise her. She lent her jacket to a friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 171

You deserved it 11 511

Today, I got home and my wife asked me to help yell at the kids for ruining over £1000 of her makeup supplies. I did an almost double take at the fact I had no idea she had spent over £1000 just on makeup. No wonder we’re always broke the end of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 288

You deserved it 232

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 421

You deserved it 3 070

Today, one of the kids I was babysitting had a severe peanut allergy, and he looked me dead in the eye as he ate a peanut bar before I could stop him. His sister swore up and down that I made him eat it. Guess who the parents believed, even after I rushed him to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 412

You deserved it 116

Today, I was driving home from a long day at work fixing people's electronics. When I got home, I got a call from work saying I needed to go back and help a customer with their TV again. When I got there, after an hour of driving, I realized I'd accidentally kicked the power cord out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 532

You deserved it 5 986