By meg__1798 - 09/12/2015 02:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom told me that when I choked on a tortilla chip yesterday, she was seriously planning on cutting my neck open and sticking a straw in it if I didn't stop, because she saw someone do it on 'E.R.'. Now I'm scared to have an emergency around her. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 593
You deserved it 1 585

meg__1798 tells us more.

Hey guys its me OP, To clarify, my mom told me that she was planning to do this only if the Heimlich maneuver did not work. I was choking on the chip pretty badly and could not breathe so she was thinking about the worst possible scenario. Luckily, I got it out and I am fine and no throats were cut. (This time). When she told me about her (bad) plan to perform a tracheotomy I told her about the scene with Sandra Bullock in The Heat and the dangers of doing one without training (and that TV does not count as training). I also may have mentioned that I would rather choke out and die than have my throat cut open with a steak knife on the kitchen floor.... Thanks for all of your comments! -OP

Top comments

These are the dangerous effects ER and grey's anatomy have on people...

Comments

mads_nicole 19

I will admit, Grey's Anatomy has done that to me...but not to that extent!

Note to self:don't choke around mom & don't give mom sharp things for Christmas

I'd be terrified if my Mom said that to me. Sorry OP but FYL

Redgy22 26

At least she had a plan Not a great one, but a plan.

Wow one of the few FMLs that make me laugh out loud. FYL OP. Your mom is scary. Maybe have a talk with her that there's a reason people go to medical school and not just watch TV shows to get certified.

dragoongirl90 34

Explain to the psycho that she could hit the corotid or jugular and kill you.

Pick up a copy of "The Heat" (2013) and watch it with your mom. There is a scene where Sandra Bullock attempts to perform a tracheotomy on a choking man and fails. When paramedics arrive, they rebuff Bullock for attempting to perform a medical procedure without proper training.

schreibergx93 19