By meg__1798 - 09/12/2015 02:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom told me that when I choked on a tortilla chip yesterday, she was seriously planning on cutting my neck open and sticking a straw in it if I didn't stop, because she saw someone do it on 'E.R.'. Now I'm scared to have an emergency around her. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 594
You deserved it 1 586

meg__1798 tells us more.

meg__1798 9

Hey guys its me OP, To clarify, my mom told me that she was planning to do this only if the Heimlich maneuver did not work. I was choking on the chip pretty badly and could not breathe so she was thinking about the worst possible scenario. Luckily, I got it out and I am fine and no throats were cut. (This time). When she told me about her (bad) plan to perform a tracheotomy I told her about the scene with Sandra Bullock in The Heat and the dangers of doing one without training (and that TV does not count as training). I also may have mentioned that I would rather choke out and die than have my throat cut open with a steak knife on the kitchen floor.... Thanks for all of your comments! -OP

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

catchmenow1 21

These are the dangerous effects ER and grey's anatomy have on people...

231 1

Comments

Richard6036 13

Sounds like you need to avoid being around your mother

0 1
Levant7552 9

What are you bunch of whiners moaning about. Would it be better to die from having choked on something? This procedure wasn't created for entertainment or playing a hero but for saving lives. Life is bloody sometimes, if you can't handle that go read some gardening stories.

1 7
ashwednesday 12

I don't think anyone here has an issue with tracheotomies, Rick. People have an issue with the OP's mom performing a SURGICAL PROCEDURE on the OP because she was it done on a medical drama TV series. No body but a TRAINED medical professional, like a paramedic or a doctor, should attempt to perform a tracheotomy. If you see somebody choking, you should: 1.) Immediately call for an ambulance (always do this first and never delegate the task), 2.) Ask the casualty to open his or her mouth; if you can see the obstruction, remove it with your fingers, 3.) If you can't see the obstruction, perform the J Thrust Maneuver on the casualty, 4.) If the casualty fall unconscious, perform CPR until help arrives (before beginning CPR, check the casualty's airway for obstruction and IF YOU CAN SEE IT remove it with your fingers; you should also check the casualty's airway periodically while performing CPR). Do not attempt to cut into the casualty's neck if you are not an accredited paramedic or doctor. Thanks.

9 1
gobiteme2 34

Sounds like you mom won't spend a whole lot of money on medical school, ER visits on the orther hand is something total different

2 1
yeongji 31

Did she also state how when people choke, they can cough and they do not turn a different colour? If so, it seems like she wasn't fully paying attention to that particular episode and/or the show incorrectly portrayed how a real choking episode looks like.

0 1
meg__1798 9

Hey guys its me OP, To clarify, my mom told me that she was planning to do this only if the Heimlich maneuver did not work. I was choking on the chip pretty badly and could not breathe so she was thinking about the worst possible scenario. Luckily, I got it out and I am fine and no throats were cut. (This time). When she told me about her (bad) plan to perform a tracheotomy I told her about the scene with Sandra Bullock in The Heat and the dangers of doing one without training (and that TV does not count as training). I also may have mentioned that I would rather choke out and die than have my throat cut open with a steak knife on the kitchen floor.... Thanks for all of your comments! -OP

71 3
noonenoeone 22

You should inform her that she doesn't need to slit your throat open and a small puncture will do the job just fine in the unlikely event she ever does have to perform one.

23 0
PrincessZelda_HR 22

Tell her to go get actual training, if she's apparently so concerned that this will happen; never hurts to learn a new skill!

16 0
aswethinkweiz 20

OP I like how you use entertainment media to say how bad entertainment media is haha

6 1