By meg__1798 - 09/12/2015 02:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom told me that when I choked on a tortilla chip yesterday, she was seriously planning on cutting my neck open and sticking a straw in it if I didn't stop, because she saw someone do it on 'E.R.'. Now I'm scared to have an emergency around her. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 594
You deserved it 1 586

meg__1798 tells us more.

meg__1798 9

Hey guys its me OP, To clarify, my mom told me that she was planning to do this only if the Heimlich maneuver did not work. I was choking on the chip pretty badly and could not breathe so she was thinking about the worst possible scenario. Luckily, I got it out and I am fine and no throats were cut. (This time). When she told me about her (bad) plan to perform a tracheotomy I told her about the scene with Sandra Bullock in The Heat and the dangers of doing one without training (and that TV does not count as training). I also may have mentioned that I would rather choke out and die than have my throat cut open with a steak knife on the kitchen floor.... Thanks for all of your comments! -OP

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Top comments

catchmenow1 21

These are the dangerous effects ER and grey's anatomy have on people...

231 1

Comments

oiler 21

ask her this "so if soneone jumped off a btidge you will also?"

1 20
Tripartita 44

Ah, the old soneone-and-btidge hypothetical: a timeless classic among parents prone to typos and misremembering.

32 2
LPac5295 27

You might want to explain to her that since she's not a trained medical professional that could end up causing more damage. Sorry OP and I hope you don't end up choking again!

7 1
harleyivy 7

make your mother watch the movie Heat and maybe it'll show her why she shouldn't do that.

4 1
MidnaLink 33

At least... not without proper medical training.

2 2
Tripartita 44

This is why you shouldn't let your parents watch too much TV. Also, make sure they eat all their vegetables before desert and keep their rooms tidy. This is childing 101.

29 0
PopularPoptart 8

For obvious reasons, an impromptu tracheotomy is a bad idea

7 1
Railroader 16

By that logic I can perform combat surgery from watching M*A*S*H

11 1
doemetoch 28

Yikes. Maybe you could sign both of you up for a first aid-course? It would make you feel more secure, and it's great skills to have in case any of you ever need them!

4 1
gobiteme2 34

With a first aid course you would learn the A B C's. Airway doing a tracheotomy, Breathing doing a lung transplant and Circulation open heart surgery.

4 0
bnorb 8

I don't know about how it's done elsewhere, but I actually had to learn this in the compulsory first-aid course to get a driving license. If the Heimlich manouver doesn't work, you should do this as a last resort (can do even for yourself, not that hard). Although I can agree it's easy to mess up.

2 2
PhoenixChick 26

How dangerous is driving where you live that you need to know how to do an emergency tracheotomy to get a license? In the states, first aid training is never required, and first aid training never includes cutting strangers throats.

5 1
bnorb 8

Not that dangerous, simply the first-aid course covers it briefly. Also, you're just cutting a little bit of skin off the throat at the proper place. Then you can either hold open the larynx(not sure if that's the word) or stick a in pen, or something that's hollow. So it's not that extreme. It's really more of an option if you have nobody around to do the heimlich manouver, and can't cough up the stuff blocking your throat.

2 3
techiejames 8

Check your local hospital for Red Cross First Aid Certification classes. Get her into one, stat, before she does somethig you both will regret.

6 1