Intimacy: Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her...

By Anonymous - 09/06/2009 08:14 - United States

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 857

You deserved it 5 747

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Same thing different taste

The moment when…

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 108

You deserved it 74 047

Stop, just stop

By Girl123999 - 04/03/2009 23:07 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he spank you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 266 229

You deserved it 35 527

By Ohai - 16/01/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 580

You deserved it 3 075

By ShadowJack - 29/04/2012 15:10 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 486

You deserved it 9 785

Classy

By bkay26 - 29/08/2010 15:37 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 808

You deserved it 7 657

Handy

By Anonymous - 06/03/2011 18:15 - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 907

You deserved it 11 994

By ooblie - 08/12/2010 08:22 - United States

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "my mom is SO awesome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 957

You deserved it 4 013

By nomorecleaning - 16/03/2013 12:17 - United States - Augusta

Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 165

You deserved it 4 039

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 05:28 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 102

You deserved it 2 791

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 819

You deserved it 37 526

log1k 3

Tuesday 9 June 2009 16:03

what... the ****?

ohmygawdz 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 16:05

FYL because your mom thought you would know that.

Comments

jeri2011 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 3:00

Adding to my earlier comment: Or she could have said: 'When you're getting it from behind and the man on top orgasms, what happens to you? Do you take care of yourself or what?' My point is, is that she didn't make it personal when she asked you about it. It's still awkward of her to ask, but she can't help it. Humans are naturally curious after all.

Sapphy 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 3:17

:D aha that sucks

pete275 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 3:25

tell her to try anal herself, she'll get an indea of what it's like

fishness 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 3:29

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

blablabla18_fml 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 3:42

Hahahaha #38 & #90

thexrumor 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 3:51

#155: Actually she probably has, hence why she was curious. Since we don't have a g-spot in our ass, anal sex is different for men and women. Doesn't matter if the OP is gay or straight, if he's male than it's more a question of anatomy. Why she would think he'd know is anyone's guess, though.

10001110101 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 4:01

did she just get done eating magic shrooms? F her Life... thats messed the eff up man.

ChefBoy6382 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 4:45

im not sure i understand. are you gay?

dyld921 2

Wednesday 10 June 2009 5:31

Your mom needs to watch more ****, because clearly as she doesn't know anything about anal sex.

plexico 3

Wednesday 10 June 2009 5:43

If you tell her the "code" states that the man on top gives the man on the bottom a "rusty trombone," you'll probably never have to talk to you mom again.