By theaaxis - 26/11/2014 21:43 - United States

Today, my mother requested that I return the $500 she had previously given me to help me pay for college. Her reasoning? "You work three jobs, you can afford it." I work three jobs because she decided buying herself a car was more important than my schooling. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 272
You deserved it 3 719

theaaxis tells us more.

theaaxis 27

Wow, this got published! To give a little background, my mom had been telling me for years that she would pay for my first two years of college, though she's a fickle woman, so I kept a backup plan. When she withdrew the offer, I accepted the situation gracefully, and am now taking a gap year, working 77 hours a week, so I won't have to depend on her. Any resentment over the money is over the week's notice I was given, which even still makes me worry about her financial situation more so than my own. That she wants even the gift back does bother me a little, but I by no means expected her to pay my way through life, and am very much financially independent. Thanks much to the many of you who understood!

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Top comments

illinoiscentral 16

not after she gave it as a gift. At that point it stopped being her money and started being OP's money.

92 2
Steffi3 40

Well, if she wants to buy a car, she should be allowed. It stinks that she makes you return her gift, though. It's a gift, after all

94 9

Comments

GnaR_KiLL5150 12

Why do kids think that there parents have to pay for college? I paid for my own school and so did everyone I know

3 10
AninOnin 24

I'm lucky enough that my mom refuses to let me pay my own tuition. She came to the States with nothing but the clothes on her back (airport lost all her luggage) and doesn't want it to be that hard for me. I do try to pay for whatever I can (like books) without her knowing, though.

2 0
shepp626 11

The issue with "expecting" parents to pay for their child's college is that schools, and the government expect them too. I knew tons of kids when I was in community college, myself included, who had parents who made too much but wouldn't/couldn't contribute and we paid our own way however we could. University tuition is skyrocketing, and job prospects for new grads is abysmal. It's a rock and a hard place, take out loans and hope you can pay them back, or work your way through and pray you can graduate before 26 when your income becomes the deciding factor. No, paying for your kids college is not required, but you definitely shouldn't make it any harder on them like OP's mother is trying to do by taking away money she needs for an education. The college and job prospects this generation is facing is not at all like the previous generations where it really was possible to work a job and pay for your bachelor's degree that was worth something. Please can the "oh this generation is so spoiled" routine.

6 1
browneyed019 3

Or you could get hitched or have babies... And I think it's 24 when you're considered independent or an adult student and your income is the deciding factor for your loans.

0 0
worldclassrager 39

Return it in time like 20$ a week or something...

0 3
sophiehelen 32

This is why I like England, education is paid for

2 1
sophiehelen 32

This doesn't half make me appreciate The British government paying my Uni fees!

2 1
theaaxis 27

Wow, this got published! To give a little background, my mom had been telling me for years that she would pay for my first two years of college, though she's a fickle woman, so I kept a backup plan. When she withdrew the offer, I accepted the situation gracefully, and am now taking a gap year, working 77 hours a week, so I won't have to depend on her. Any resentment over the money is over the week's notice I was given, which even still makes me worry about her financial situation more so than my own. That she wants even the gift back does bother me a little, but I by no means expected her to pay my way through life, and am very much financially independent. Thanks much to the many of you who understood!

87 0
annalily5 28

If your mom's been promising for years to pay for college, she is legally obligated in some states to do so. It'd count as a legally binding verbal contract, one would be reasonably expected to have a major impact on your financial planning. I'm not saying it'll necessarily go your way in a court room, but if she asks for the $500 bucks back you might just want to ask her for the 2 years of tuition she owes you.

11 86
ileenefudge 29

When you go to court, they don't look at verbal contracts. Everything has to be on paper and on file as evidence or proof otherwise it becomes a "he said she said" type of thing. Therefore even if the money was taken back, as messed up as it is, that case wouldn't make it in the system, and if it did it wouldn't get very far. OP doesn't have a case at all against their mom on the money.

36 3
Shade1982 20

@90: You are right about verbal contracts, but the courts almost never will look at them, because they are nearly impossible to prove, unless you maybe had at least two witnesses. Contracts also always contain certain conditions. She can very easily tell the court she made the promise, but her personal situation changed, therefor the contract became null and void. Since no conditions for the promise were declared, no counter-argument can be made...

18 0
theaaxis 27

I wouldn't do that to her, especially with my younger brother heading off to college in a few years. The work is good for me! I already have a great resume for the field I'm heading into. :)

29 0
NeatNit 32

#90 - what the hell makes you think OP wants to take her mom to court? it's clearly between the two of them, not a case of criminal fraud.

27 0
Durantye 8

Might wanna make sure you warn your brother OP so that he will not make the mistake of accepting a dime from her.

16 0
snazzymcwho 21

Where I live, people my age (late 20s to early 30s) cannot possibly afford to have children and pay for their education. It's bullshit that I will either never be able to enjoy the privilege of being a mother because I'm a college educated poor person. Welcome to the new America; basically 1900.

16 5
snazzymcwho 21

Where I live, people my age (late 20s to early 30s) cannot possibly afford to have children and pay for their education. It's bullshit that I will either never be able to enjoy the privilege of being a mother because I'm a college educated poor person. Welcome to the new America; basically 1900.

0 0
sm37 1

First of all, you should be extremely proud of yourself for what you're doing to pursue your education! Being financial independent from your mom means she should be financially independent from you...and not ask for money back that she GAVE to you. You shouldn't be worrying about her financial situation if she clearly doesn't worry about yours! It can be tough to draw the line with parents and close family, especially if it involves money and when you know what it's like to need money yourself, but you can't be truly financially independent unless you're also emotionally independent and are able to do what's best for yourself. I've had experience in a similar situation, and it may just be best to pay her back so you don't have this burden on your shoulders, but pay it back in increments and then stop discussing money matters at all with your mom. You don't need any added stress. Best of luck OP!!!

13 1