Health: Today, my mother told me I should volunteer in Africa, because... - FML

By strayy - 30/09/2015 06:47 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my mother told me I should volunteer in Africa, because I might "get lucky, catch malaria and come back skinny". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 625

You deserved it 2 348

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Same thing different taste

By Océane Léana K - 01/09/2017 01:29

Today, after coming back from a trip to Africa where I got malaria, I went to the hospital for some blood tests. The doctor said, "Good news! You never had malaria! But they put you through a lot of dangerous treatments and now your liver has an anomaly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 735

You deserved it 243

Mother knows best

By Anonymous - 20/01/2021 12:01 - United States - Phoenix

Today, while visiting my parents, I observed that I've been able to visit more often because I've avoided getting sick the whole year. My mother responded by reminding me that I need to get my act together if I'm going to lose weight and get healthier. Not the reaction I hoped for, Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 133

By mynameislor - 09/02/2010 14:26 - Canada

Today, my mum was saying she needs to gain weight because she was underweight according to her doctor. She then said she's going to eat like me in order to gain more weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 238

You deserved it 7 425

By unlucky - 20/04/2013 21:17 - United States - Wheeling

Today, I came home from a four month stay in Africa, where I managed to avoid suffering any serious illness. Some hours after my first meal back at home, I got food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 825

You deserved it 3 883

Fresh

By MalariaFree - 14/06/2009 11:08 - Uganda

Today, I went to a hospital in Uganda, where I'm working with an NGO for the summer. I had a high fever and other symptoms of malaria. They gave me a test, and I don't have malaria. I'm now however sick from the water they gave me to wash down a medication to reduce fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 929

You deserved it 3 334

By imobesejk - 17/07/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 202

You deserved it 2 822

Knackered knob

By Anonymous - 10/08/2009 06:27 - Ghana

Today, I learned that because of my new medication, I can either avoid getting malaria, or have a male yeast infection. I'm stuck in Africa for the next two months, and have to sit down to pee because I don't want to irritate my penis by touching it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 709

You deserved it 3 512

By devinchi - 11/11/2011 08:42 - United States

Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 293

You deserved it 8 196

By Anonymous - 09/05/2016 03:02 - Canada - Fort Smith

Today, for Mother's Day, I surprised my Mother with the news I that I'll be visiting in June. The last time we got to visit was 4 years ago, we live 4000 miles apart and it's a very expensive trip. She said, "No, come next June, I want to lose some more weight before seeing you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 552

You deserved it 1 140

Wow, thanks, I'm cured

By me. - 22/07/2023 10:00

Today, I told my mom that I'm bulimic and have been for a few years, and that I needed help. She responded by saying, "Well that's clearly not working for you. Why don't you try anorexia?" She then patted me on the head, smiled, and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 144

Next

Top comments

Wizardo 33

Wednesday 30 September 2015 18:07

Tell her to take a trip to the sun, she might get a heart after it thaws out.

RedPandax 23

Wednesday 30 September 2015 18:06

That incredibly insensitive. She should volunteer in Africa. It might make her a more nicer person, it sounds like she's needs it.

Comments

interesting33 36

Wednesday 30 September 2015 20:18

Does she say stuff like that a lot? It sounds emotionally abusive to critique your weight like that as well as saying you should get a life threatening illness

Uriel87 3

Wednesday 30 September 2015 20:19

what kind of mum is that? seriously, live your life as you want and don't care about others. your happiness belongs to you only!

trucker2 33

Wednesday 30 September 2015 20:44

Give your mom a brochure to the nearest nursing home, and walk off without saying a word

allforfun 23

Friday 2 October 2015 2:50

Haha, excellent!!

airbear18 15

Wednesday 30 September 2015 20:57

that's F'd up like seriously

prettygurl89 16

Wednesday 30 September 2015 22:10

Your mom needs mommy classes.

writerchic85 25

Wednesday 30 September 2015 22:18

Is your mom Mariah Carey?

earlytermination 34

Wednesday 30 September 2015 22:35

Your mom is an idiot.

butterbunny 15

Wednesday 30 September 2015 23:51

What. The. ****.

Captain_Debilos_fml 13

Wednesday 30 September 2015 23:51

good idea

jackacar12436 17

Thursday 1 October 2015 0:04

Man that is just COLD

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The Top

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 666

You deserved it 3 982

Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 211

The Top

Today, I'm looking forward to my orthodontist's appointment more than I'm looking forward to my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 640

You deserved it 1 073

Today, my girlfriend got a sexy new tattoo as a surprise for me. It’s on her boob in Japanese, next to a pair of sexy lips, and she claims it says "Oral Queen." I'm fluent in Japanese so I wish she'd asked for my help first, because it actually translates to "Mouth Ruler" which is not sexy at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 226

Today, I got my posting orders for the Air Force. After spending four years training and studying to become an aerospace engineer, I am getting sent to the only base without aircraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 184

You deserved it 3 235

Today, I sent in a fake story to a website that supports a yearly festival in my small town, thinking it would boost their spirits. It was how my boyfriend proposed to me at last year's festival. Now the local news station wants to do a story about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 849

You deserved it 81 114

Today, after over six weeks of not getting a single shift at my part time job, I finally went in to meet my new manager. He didn't even know I existed. Apparently my old manager lied and said I quit so they hired someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 370

You deserved it 6 114

Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 893

You deserved it 3 010