By soulebelius - 07/09/2014 22:50 - United States
soulebelius tells us more.
Just a quick update from the OP: this isn't the first threat my mother gave me about this. She actually influenced my sister to have the same stance. Me and my sister worked it out, but my mom crossed the line. She brings this up when it benefits her ulterior motive to reunite the family (ain't mad at her for that), but it shouldn't be brought up while we're announcing our engagement, or introducing both families for the first time, or a casual conversation months later about us getting on the same insurance. The saddest part is... Me and the missus were planning on having only our closest immediate family. It was going to be around 10 total people. I told her she doesn't have to worry anymore: no need for them to go. Not even bitter. I just want to keep the focus on the happy couple and not use our day as a family counseling session.
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Maybe they're trying to get you guys to get over your issues.
That's blackmail. I would just tell them fine that they dont have to be at the wedding if they dont want to. Simple.
You only get one family and, god-willing, you only get one wedding. Your brother will never stop being your brother no matter how bad your relationship is. Moments like this in your life are good times to clean the slate and enter the next part of your life with a clear conscience. Invite your brother, talk it out, and go into your big day without this drama behind you. Whether he attends is up to him, but if you are the bigger person, you'll know you did your best and won't carry regret into your marriage.
They shouldn't come.
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That definitely sucks, OP. They say they don't want to choose sides, but by not being a part of the most important day of your life, it seems as if they have. Just don't let it stop you from enjoying your day. Get relatives or close friends to stand in for them, and when it's all said and done and they see your beautiful pictures, I'm sure they'll feel quite bad for letting a family dispute get in the way.
If you're confident he won't come anyway, you can send out an invite and simply tell your parents it's his choice not to be there.