By soulebelius - 07/09/2014 22:50 - United States

Today, my mother told me that she and my father aren't coming to my wedding if my estranged brother who stopped talking to me two years ago isn't invited. She claims they don't want to choose sides. Brother: 1. Me: 0. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 968
You deserved it 3 257

soulebelius tells us more.

Just a quick update from the OP: this isn't the first threat my mother gave me about this. She actually influenced my sister to have the same stance. Me and my sister worked it out, but my mom crossed the line. She brings this up when it benefits her ulterior motive to reunite the family (ain't mad at her for that), but it shouldn't be brought up while we're announcing our engagement, or introducing both families for the first time, or a casual conversation months later about us getting on the same insurance. The saddest part is... Me and the missus were planning on having only our closest immediate family. It was going to be around 10 total people. I told her she doesn't have to worry anymore: no need for them to go. Not even bitter. I just want to keep the focus on the happy couple and not use our day as a family counseling session.

Top comments

shelbycobra0991 8

That definitely sucks, OP. They say they don't want to choose sides, but by not being a part of the most important day of your life, it seems as if they have. Just don't let it stop you from enjoying your day. Get relatives or close friends to stand in for them, and when it's all said and done and they see your beautiful pictures, I'm sure they'll feel quite bad for letting a family dispute get in the way.

fffianist 9

If you're confident he won't come anyway, you can send out an invite and simply tell your parents it's his choice not to be there.

Comments

It's you and your spouse special day! If they don't want to come forget them! And congrats op!

Fr0gs 15

Its your brother. No matter what kind of relationship you have with him he should be invited.

skittyskatbrat 19

Wow...so...if he beat and abused him, sexually molested him, raped his girlfriend, etc. he should still be invited? Unless you KNOW it is a petty bullshit reason, you never, ever want to try and guilt someone into contact with someone they found it necessary to cut off contact with!!!!!

Sounds like neither of them deserve to go

Just invite him. It's not like he will show up..

My younger sister is a toxic lil shit. She is nothing but demon spawn and i'll be damned if she's coming to my wedding. I can't even say the worst thing she's said cause it's ****** up but that **** is not allowed near my daughter nor will she be allowed around the child i'm carrying now.

Alastrina_fml 20

When I got married, my sister and uncle were not invited, [because my sister is a toxic shitstain and my uncle hates my hubby.] and some of the guests doubled as muscle to escort them off the premises if they did show up. [they didn't] My mom tried to pressure me into inviting my uncle, but I said hell no. If your parents don't want to show up, that's their problem, but they should be made to understand WHY you don't want your brother there. If they still don't get it, well, make the best wedding day you can of it.

could you ask your folks to speak to your brother and ask why he stopped talking to you. Maybe they don't want to take sides but shouldn't they mediate?

Family seems to constantly cause issues with weddings...My Dads parents didn't go to my parents' wedding because HIS Dad wanted to walk my Mom down the isle instead of HER Dad and my Mom said no...Ugh. People.

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Sounds like they've already chosen a side.

So? Invite him. He's still family. If you think his and your parents actions are petty, why would you mirror that by refusing to invite him so publicly? That's like publicly shaming him. An invite doesn't mean he'll come and nobody said you had to put the correct date or time on HIS invite. ;) Oooops.