Animals: Today, my parents got a new dog. It attacks me every time I laugh.... - FML

By Imgonnahaveabf - 05/01/2012 12:06 - United States

Today, my parents got a new dog. It attacks me every time I laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 394

You deserved it 3 608

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Same thing different taste

By anyonmus - 12/04/2013 00:59 - United States - Westminster

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 277

You deserved it 9 704

By Anonymous - 19/07/2017 07:00 - United States - Coplay

Today, my school brought in therapy dogs to help with stress. I was attacked by one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 688

You deserved it 507

By Anonymous - 14/05/2011 05:44 - United States

Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 850

You deserved it 5 441

Love is love

By Taylor505 - 07/10/2024 08:00 - United States - Ocala

Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 96

By cat - 07/08/2019 18:00

Today, I thought I was seeing double. My neighbours got a new dog, which is exactly the same as the other one, except that it hates me twice as much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 550

You deserved it 137

Who's a good boy?

By Anonymous - 08/05/2020 20:00

Today, my boyfriend's vicious dog, which he got as a security measure and growls and barks at me whenever I go near it, was caught on our security camera playing like a puppy with a burglar, while the other two burglars cleaned out all our valuables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 400

You deserved it 226

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 1 252

By Anonymous - 18/10/2014 23:05 - United States - Evanston

Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 495

You deserved it 13 252

By Anonymous - 05/08/2013 21:36 - Sweden - Falun

Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 718

You deserved it 7 330

By woof? - 19/04/2015 17:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 595

You deserved it 3 452

Next

Top comments

FortuneCookie3 1

Thursday 5 January 2012 16:05

attack it every time it barks

ICATiger 13

Thursday 5 January 2012 16:06

Guess it's the dog who gets the last laugh...

Comments

lovebunnies 5

Friday 6 January 2012 5:21

contact animal control and have the dog put down

NAAMxLOOS 11

Friday 6 January 2012 18:25

Or, you know, just discipline the ******* dog. Jesus ******* Christ, you people....

fuckkyeaaaalaura 12

Friday 6 January 2012 6:36

Then don't laugh

DarylAndrew 2

Friday 6 January 2012 7:34

This is like squidward being attacked by a sea bear

Melster 0

Friday 6 January 2012 14:53

He should be a guard dog for a serious seminar for like the president... Id like to see that.

Tatted_Ari 3

Friday 6 January 2012 17:51

Lmao that sucks

krisymisy 0

Saturday 7 January 2012 4:02

I don't think it has a good spence of humor!!

xXRazelleLuniiXx 9

Saturday 7 January 2012 7:18

Maybe he doesn't find you very funny, OP.

coolgirl44 3

Sunday 8 January 2012 5:17

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. To get to the other side... Knock knock Who's there? The chicken. The guy who invented knock knock jokes should get a nobell prize.

SamanthaLovesJB 0

Sunday 8 January 2012 5:47

Lol that sucks:p

track96 4

Sunday 8 January 2012 5:55

for some reason I find this super hilarious.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 14 952

You deserved it 57 234

It's always spookier in your mind...

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You deserved it 181

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend with breakfast in bed. Instead, I spilled hot coffee all over her and the bed. We ended up spending the morning doing laundry instead of cuddling. FML

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You deserved it 1 814

Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML

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You deserved it 563