Miscellaneous: Today, my psycho ex defaced my car. She didn't key it or slash...

By Baegel - 02/03/2016 01:52 - United States - Havertown

Today, my psycho ex defaced my car. She didn't key it or slash my tires. She posted "TRUMP 2016" bumper stickers all over it. I don't know what glue they use, but it's been 2 hours and I haven't gotten any of them off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 906

You deserved it 2 372

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Same thing different taste

By historyrepeats - 11/07/2019 04:00

Today, I woke up to a Swastika, "Go home" and "Trump2020" spray-painted on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 620

You deserved it 318

By Mustang - 05/08/2010 01:13 - United States

Today, some jerk super glued leaves and a note onto my car's front windshield. Not only is it directly in front of the driver's seat and makes it nearly impossible to drive, but it won't come off. What makes it worse? I was spending the night at a friend's house and the note was meant for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 128

You deserved it 2 609

By GrandTheftArson - 09/03/2016 03:51 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, my ex stole my car keys. Good news is she can't drive stick. Bad news is she set my car on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 191

You deserved it 1 587

By cjw - 06/03/2013 00:07 - United States

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 591

You deserved it 4 323

By Anonymous - 16/05/2015 01:17 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I caught my ex trying to slash my car tires with a knife. She actually had the balls to claim she was testing my tire pressure, before power-walking off into the distance like nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 040

You deserved it 2 746

Deep fried eggs

By Anonymous - 09/07/2022 18:00

Today, after I broke up with my boyfriend about two weeks ago, I didn't think much of it since we haven't spoken, I went out on a date last night with an old friend, came back home and went to sleep… When I got up for work, I went out to my car to find someone had egged it. It still won't come off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 129

Territorial Pissings

By El Camino - 25/11/2010 21:01 - United States

Today, I parked in a different lot because the one I usually park in was full. When I came back later, a bumper sticker was stuck to the windshield that said, "INCONSIDERATE F***, DON'T PARK HERE AGAIN!" To make matters worse, it was stuck on with a special type of glue, so it can't be removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 388

You deserved it 5 074

By Anonymous - 02/07/2011 04:46 - United States

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 859

You deserved it 3 577

Come to think of it, no, you didn't

By fail land - 02/04/2021 05:00

Today, some asswipe keyed a swastika into my car. Did I mention it’s a rental? FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 90

Break ups are tough

By ... - 10/02/2010 09:08 - United States

Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This included Nazi symbols, "white power", and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominantly black neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 174

You deserved it 4 374

HappyItalian 38

Wednesday 2 March 2016 19:11

I guess you've been trumped.

umerin 32

Wednesday 2 March 2016 19:08

Probably superglue

Comments

rosslynch553 16

Sunday 1 May 2016 20:57

Trump 2016!

pengo1998 0

Monday 19 December 2016 7:15

at least it wasn't hillary stickers

maserle 8

Wednesday 23 October 2019 21:18

i dont see a problem.

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The Top

Today, I was working my job checking people in at the gym. A sweaty, chubby woman came up to me complaining about how our staff seems so fit. I replied, "We like to hire people who have bodies that motivate our clients!" She gave a blank stare, then said, "So how did you get the job?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 926

You deserved it 15 103

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 716

You deserved it 32 189

The Top

Today, it was my the last day of my time off work for my birthday weekend and I had so much fun, but I was thinking about my ex-fiancé for a lot of the time because I still haven’t gotten closure with that situation. All I wanna do is SCREAM because I just turned 30, got dumped and have to keep on going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 220

Today, thanks to my new anti-anxiety meds, I am finally no longer agoraphobic. Today also marks 5 weeks of constant diarrhea due to the same meds. Guess who's not leaving the house anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 059

You deserved it 312

Today, my wife finally agreed to try anal. Unfortunately, it was too hot in the apartment so I couldn't focus and I kept going soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 651

Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 128

You deserved it 64 392

Today, a girl called me a racist, stereotyping asshole. All I did was ask a kid who happens to be Asian to tutor me in math. Which I didn't do just because he's Asian, but rather because he's in college and is actually a brilliant mathematician. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 537

You deserved it 2 131

Today, I had a great idea for a group project at work, so I shared it with my team and my supervisor. They seemed to like it very much, except one guy in our group, who outranks me and who threw a massive temper tantrum because, “I didn't consult him first before sharing it.” This big baby makes 3 times my income. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 96