Health: Today, my seasonal allergies started. Most annoying thing by... - FML

By Anonymous - 26/04/2016 08:00 - Spain

Today, my seasonal allergies started. Most annoying thing by far this allergy season? I only get the urge to sneeze when I have food in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 601

You deserved it 1 781

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Bless you

By Achoo - 31/01/2023 02:30

Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 187

By Anonymous - 22/05/2013 05:38 - United States - Livingston

Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 196

You deserved it 3 868

Spill the T

By Seasonal Suck - 28/09/2022 09:30 - United States

Today, seasonal allergies are whooping my ass again. The last time this happened was… only two weeks ago. Even more unfortunately, today also marks the day I discovered that while hot tea does help soothe my poor, inflamed throat, if I drink too much of it without a break, I throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 198

By radiating - 09/03/2012 04:53

Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 776

You deserved it 3 218

My body hates me

By Anonymous - 01/05/2023 12:00 - United States - Elizabeth City

Today, like many other days before, my allergies decided, "screw you, you're dealing with me year round, no allergy medicine will keep me away, and you're going to break out in sneezing fits at the worst possible moments, which includes while you're driving on the highway." Shocking that I haven't been in a wreck yet, but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 113

Side effects

By Anonymous - 19/06/2021 18:59 - United Kingdom - Runcorn

Today, I sneezed so hard, I farted. During my vaccine appointment. I hate hayfever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 145

Say it, don't spray it

By Anonymous - 05/10/2024 06:00 - United States - Warren

Today, as I was trying to get into the grocery store, I had a sneezing fit. I've typically never had one, so I didn't really know how to handle it. This one was a new record: 11 sneezes and I hadn't had the foresight to bring tissues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 89

That blows

By Oww - 23/07/2022 22:00 - United States

Today, I have a zit on the edge of my nostril, along with severe allergies. I can no longer tell if my tears are from pain or hay fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 96

By all arsed out - 06/03/2016 16:50 - United Kingdom - Spalding

Today, I suffered an uncontrollable sneezing attack. I have the runs. It wasn't exactly as bad as I'd have expected. Just a lot worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 655

You deserved it 1 559

Itching and scratching

By BMXDude22 - 06/10/2023 07:30 - United States

Today, I went for a job interview, under the impression that I had taken my allergy medication, and had a sneezing fit. Each sneeze seemed to get louder, and every time I blew my nose, it set the sneezing off again. By the end, the entire interview panel was staring at me in disbelief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 143

Next

Top comments

bronxiecat777 14

Tuesday 26 April 2016 19:27

How does that even happen?

stingray112 24

Tuesday 26 April 2016 19:29

Then cover your mouth with a napkin

Comments

ThrottleJockey 35

Tuesday 26 April 2016 22:40

I'm right there with you. Mine just started today.

Rooters24 8

Tuesday 26 April 2016 22:53

wat

6pointOhhh 10

Tuesday 26 April 2016 23:17

Two words: Allergy Medicine

mariri9206 32

Wednesday 27 April 2016 1:24

Try alka-seltzer tablets. I, too, have seasonal allergies and that's the only thing that has worked for me long term. Try cherry and orange flavor to mask the nasty tablet flavor.

pladimir_vutin 5

Wednesday 27 April 2016 4:48

then don't eat problem solved

LunarSage 3

Wednesday 27 April 2016 6:17

That happens to me but only when every one is supposed to be quiet and my sneezes are cannon-like

Bonafonte 24

Wednesday 27 April 2016 16:46

Maybe it's the food you're allergic to?

fungi0528 12

Wednesday 27 April 2016 18:55

Well then maybe your boyfriend is in for a surprise later

PackardBell_fml 19

Wednesday 27 April 2016 22:43

Allergy meds? I suggest Zyrtec.

nobeardsanta 4

Thursday 28 April 2016 10:47

sad OP is sad

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Gross Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Cars You're fired Work Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Am I overreacting? Intimacy Management

The Top

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 079

You deserved it 410

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 3 568

The Top

Today, I met my father-in-law for the first time. He went on a big rant how men are superior intellects and women contribute nothing to society. Ironic, as it took me, a woman, 30 seconds to notice it's biologically impossible for him to be my husband's father. After 33 years, both he and my husband haven't figured it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 743

You deserved it 234

Today, it was my fifth wedding anniversary. After an intense lovemaking session, my husband looked lovingly into my eyes and asked, "How do you feel about polygamy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 171

You deserved it 4 298

Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 567

You deserved it 51 873

Today, a woman came through my drive-thru and ordered a latte, but the bank had closed off her cards and she was short 30 cents in cash. I felt bad, so I paid for her. When I went home, I told my dad what I did, thinking he'd be proud of how he raised me but no, he said I'd wasted my money, and made me feel bad about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 122

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 712

You deserved it 3 660

Today, I learned that you can pierce your balls. However, sitting on a thumbtack is not the best way to find this out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 527

You deserved it 7 040