Kids: Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get...

By Wheredigowrong - 21/10/2013 04:18 - United States - Ankeny

Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 177

You deserved it 5 454

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Same thing different taste

Mad skills

By Anonymous - 10/12/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son is so naive that he didn’t notice that a company he interviewed for basically used him as free labour during a 3 day “skills assessment period”, after which he didn’t even get the job. Even after I explained to him they'd used him for 3 days free grunt work, he still didn’t understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 86

By Anonymous - 22/03/2016 21:17 - United States - Fremont

Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 125

You deserved it 2 088

Old boys clubs

By Anonymous - 28/04/2022 00:01

Today, my dad called my recently unemployed son a no-good bum for not job hunting. My son literally spent all day beefing up his resume and scheduling job interviews for the whole week. It's not the 1920s anymore, dad. You can't just walk into a building, ask for a job, and get hired right on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 598

You deserved it 166

Failson

By Anonymous - 17/09/2023 20:00

Today, I gave my son a job as a shelf stacker in one of my stores. He is in his thirties and is so dumb that he has been fired from every other job for incompetence. I don’t want him to starve or lose his flat, but I also couldn’t give him an important job in case he screwed it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 197

By seriously? - 27/05/2014 22:23 - United States - Manassas

Today, I discovered that my dad still doesn't consider my career as an app developer a "real job". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 345

You deserved it 7 741

Snarky

By great - 10/02/2012 21:33 - United States

Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 569

You deserved it 75 257

By Stressed Mother - 18/03/2015 21:26 - United States - Piscataway

Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone call. They were impressed with me. That's when my son decided to throw a tantrum asking for food. After some silence, the caller told me they were looking for someone who wasn't juggling little kids at home and hung up. My son is 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 038

You deserved it 6 000

By Shianna - 28/05/2012 22:00 - United States - Holden

Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 065

You deserved it 13 671

By ProudMother - 06/03/2013 18:04 - United Kingdom - Telford

Today, my 20-year-old came whining to me, asking why his job interviews keep going so poorly. I had to delicately explain that the "PIMP SLAP" tattoo he had put on his right hand recently may have something to do with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 786

You deserved it 4 636

Overcompensating

By Anonymous - 26/12/2023 11:00 - United States - Elk Grove

Today, my boss told me, "You oversold your skills in your job interview." I have worked in this industry for 25 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 124

annie_nk 22

Monday 21 October 2013 12:10

I saw people dodge bullets in The Matrix. So now I know what to do if someone points a gun at me.

Ambient25 24

Monday 21 October 2013 12:05

I blame OP for not smacking him upside the head

Comments

Perrydox 5

Monday 21 October 2013 15:07

Hahaha that's awesome

saraitkddh 47

Monday 21 October 2013 16:54

according to your son logic I am indestructible

surfergirl72 7

Monday 21 October 2013 17:01

I hope he's never seen Stepbrothers!

tekneeq 10

Monday 21 October 2013 17:30

Tell him under SEX, to put, "Hell ya nigga!"

perdix 29

Monday 21 October 2013 17:57

I've heard "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" are sure-fire winners on job applications.

cxteam 1

Monday 21 October 2013 18:11

He got that dumb comment off a comedy "the heat"

Rick_Astley_fml 14

Monday 21 October 2013 20:28

Lol

Zebediabolical 39

Monday 21 October 2013 20:56

The first mistake is that you taught him to spell it 'resumé'. Either keep both accents or neither. There's a reason that red line pops up underneath it when you spell it like that.

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 21 October 2013 21:13

Most american companies aren't going to care about the diacriticals, unless its a publishing company

Zebediabolical 39

Monday 21 October 2013 21:30

If you're in an english speaking area, most companies are going to assume someone who keeps the accents is pretentious. And they're going to assume someone who keeps /one/ of the accents is pretentious and careless. If you've got a french name like Pascal Thibodeax or Jean Chrétien though, all bets are off.