Kids: Today, my two year-old puked in the backseat of the car. When...

By WolfieJL - 18/05/2014 07:51 - United States

Today, my two year-old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two-hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 048

You deserved it 5 455

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/02/2014 19:10 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I discovered that when one of my toddlers throws up, the other sympathy-pukes too, and that this continues until they're both empty. I guess my car is going to stink of vomit for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 393

You deserved it 3 709

By laurwitharawr - 06/10/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 434

You deserved it 4 438

By Anonymous - 24/04/2014 15:35 - United Kingdom - Montrose

Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 235

You deserved it 3 417

Ralph and Huey

By justmyluck - 12/02/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 727

You deserved it 4 910

Giga barf

By Anonymous - 03/07/2022 06:00

Today, some woman, sick with god knows what, didn’t vomit into the bin next to my car, or even just onto the floor, she lurched over to my car and vomited through my open window onto my shirt and legs, and down into the footwell. I can still smell it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 99

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 04:16 - United States

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 702

You deserved it 4 019

By Anonymous - 17/07/2009 20:23 - Russian Federation

Today, the two and a half hours it took our poorly air conditioned taxi to go 20 miles in stop-and-go traffic was highlighted by our son projectile vomiting all over my wife, a suitcase, and the car. It ended with me having to pay both for the ride, as well as for cleaning the inside of the taxi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 362

You deserved it 3 230

Who gave him that?

By Ewyucky - 21/06/2022 06:00 - Canada - Wilberforce

Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 904

By Felinefine - 15/08/2016 19:33 - United Kingdom - South Petherton

Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 909

You deserved it 2 511

Chain reaction

By Anonymous - 31/08/2020 16:01 - United States - Nashville

Today, my 7-month-old spit up on the floor. My 3-year-old puts their hands in it, sniffed, and puked. Then sticks their hands in their own puke, sniffed, and puked again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 246

gorilladuck 6

Sunday 18 May 2014 19:01

why didnt you stop at a gas station, or restaurant?

EpicGuy70 13

Sunday 18 May 2014 19:02

She is just expressing her love! *silently gags in the background*

Comments

bryanjamieluke 17

Sunday 18 May 2014 21:05

My son is almost 2, potty trained, and yet I still carry around baby wipes and sanitizes in case of messes. I think a maybe you should have been a little more prepared, especially when dealing with a child.

mansen 15

Sunday 18 May 2014 22:28

Yes, because every mom remembers to load up on everything all the time. Or to refill things when they run out in the car. Also, if one is in a rush, one may forget things as well. As a mom of two young kids, and have friends who also have young kids (one friend has 5) not a single one of them is that well organised, because well, life is hectic, jobs, school (kids and some of us as well). Also, not a single mom I know who manages to actually have it all together in a day acts all sanctimonious towards other moms either. it is called supporting one another and not looking down on each other while spouting how super awesome you supposedly are.

Omniprism 14

Sunday 18 May 2014 21:10

Gas station sink.

kelsorg 21

Sunday 18 May 2014 21:50

gotta love babies lmfao

bodychex 5

Sunday 18 May 2014 22:29

This happened to us 15 minutes into an 8 hour drive home from vacation. Our 4 year old painted the entire back of the car, seats, carpets, floor mats and all. We had to drive 75 mph with the windows open the entire way home.

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 18 May 2014 22:50

Where did you stop? That could have possibly cleaned you up a bit more

thee_most_dope 30

Sunday 18 May 2014 22:53

I would've stopped at a gas station or rest area and washed that shit off in the sink with some soap..*gag*

lastunusedname 11

Sunday 18 May 2014 23:11

This is yet another reason I'm never having children.

marcranger 28

Monday 19 May 2014 0:24

Personally, I bookmark all the kid-related FMLs so that when doctors give me the side-eye for requesting a tubal ligation when I'm only 30 and haven't experienced the "joys" of children, I can hand them my smartphone without further comment.