Love: Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the... - FML

By wtf mom - 31/05/2013 04:20 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 753

You deserved it 3 536

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Same thing different taste

By Out from Hell - 22/04/2013 22:31 - United States - Woodstock

Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 645

You deserved it 76 571

Denial

By Anonymous - 04/03/2014 04:12 - United States - Woodland

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 170

You deserved it 3 217

By hugme101 - 20/12/2010 00:20 - Canada

Today, after a long time convincing my parents that my boyfriend is really a good guy, not only did he decide to come by the house completely drunk, but he also ended up trying to kiss my mom, thinking it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 098

You deserved it 9 707

By drunkboysgf - 21/10/2011 07:39 - Canada

Today, I had to get my boyfriend's mom to help me get my boyfriend in his house because he was so drunk. He broke up with me for getting him in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 613

You deserved it 5 231

By Anonymous - 30/06/2019 14:05

Today, my mom called me to tell me she'd got in touch with my ex for his birthday, and that the two of them had made a plan for us to get back together. My new boyfriend was in the process of proposing to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 208

You deserved it 148

This is fine

By Anonymous - 07/08/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 86

By dukemisery - 28/11/2016 12:23 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, my ex-girlfriend called saying she wants to get back together because of how mature and sincere I sounded last night. I despise her and I was drunk last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 034

You deserved it 3 023

By speed-dialing dr kevorkian - 27/02/2016 07:25 - United States - Two Rivers

Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 158

You deserved it 1 320

On the sauce

By drinkdrankdrunk - 27/09/2013 07:33 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 264

You deserved it 17 921

By idontevencareanymore - 23/05/2014 21:25 - United States - Jarrell

Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 207

You deserved it 4 705

Next

Top comments

Roskosity 22

Friday 31 May 2013 16:43

But it is her fault that she's a backstabbing ****.

aliciaanomalyyxo 12

Friday 31 May 2013 16:15

That's ****** up!!

Comments

lilledun 11

Friday 31 May 2013 16:22

I really hope you find a descent boyfriend the next time, and also that your mother grows up. **** your life, OP, noone should go through a broken heart caused by their mother.

rg350dx 29

Friday 31 May 2013 16:46

I don't know why he has to be a descent boyfriend. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have nothing against skydivers or spelunkers.

Axipiter 24

Friday 31 May 2013 17:09

I was thinking she just wanted someone who went down on his girlfriend. I think you one-upped me. Well done!

mollyjynxjax 28

Friday 31 May 2013 18:01

Honestly, I'm thinking this is just an auto-correct fail...

gracehi 31

Friday 31 May 2013 19:15

^ NOOOOO. Really? You think so?

lilledun 11

Saturday 1 June 2013 13:57

Haha, it took me a while to figure out your comment, #24. Well played!

chosha_fml 26

Sunday 2 June 2013 1:18

#24 I wish I could up-vote that twice. :)

beneathitallxx 15

Friday 31 May 2013 16:24

No morals. that is a shame! Sorry to hear though! :(

slkester 12

Friday 31 May 2013 16:24

Wow, um maybe., yeah there isn't any defense to that. I am sorry. Your boyfriend sunk pretty low and your mom well I think skankenstein and twatwaffle are appropriate.

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Friday 31 May 2013 16:29

Oh wow, that is just SO twisted. But then again OP. she was drunk. Are you sure she was just not simply talking BS?

perdix 29

Friday 31 May 2013 16:30

Loose lips sink ships, and it looks like your mom on alcohol has several pair.

avapaige1234 19

Friday 31 May 2013 16:40

Alcohol comes in, truth comes out.

ManInTheMachine 19

Friday 31 May 2013 16:40

Be the better person. Tell her that you're disappointed in her, and that you thought she was better than that. Do NOT retaliate, despite what some comments above (or below, inevitably) may say. You'll feel like an ass later. The guilt she will feel post-hangover will be the best revenge you can get.

Enslaved 36

Friday 31 May 2013 18:33

Hopefully the guilt won't cause the mom to drown out remorse with more alcohol. I've seen similar things happen with those results.

iiTzNeeNerz 26

Friday 31 May 2013 16:49

Your mom is a ****-muffin.

Dallasluver19 14

Friday 31 May 2013 17:02

That bastard.

Jharrist89 12

Friday 31 May 2013 17:10

That's a door you cannot close once opened.. Sorry op.

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The Top

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 597

You deserved it 9 210

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 792

You deserved it 11 207

The Top

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 114

You deserved it 5 990

Today, my coworkers continued their new favorite game: staring at me in total unnerving silence. I can't help but be reminded of serial killers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 014

You deserved it 3 370

Today, my ex called and said he still loved me. I said I’d move across the country to be with him. Then he said we could live in his dad’s house, so I can protect him from his sister’s best friend, who gave him chlamydia. At the end of call, he said he’s seeing someone and he likes her because she buys him gifts and food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 388

Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 999

You deserved it 3 418

Today, I found out that after interviewing for two jobs at great companies, I was neck and neck with one other person for each position. They both offered the job to the other person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 964

You deserved it 987

Today, I have a busy week scheduled at work, so I took my file home to smash out some reports. Naturally I did not do any work at home and then I also forgot to take the file back to work the next day. Instead of saving time, I wasted an hour driving home to collect it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 2 153