By longlongwinter - 05/12/2013 16:50 - United Kingdom - Southampton
longlongwinter tells us more.
Thank you for all your comments, it made me laugh for the first time in a week. Answering your questions, she's 67, in good health, and apart from a bad knee and weak bladder, she'll be around for many years, living independently. Her family is full of centenarians (FML again). She's neither senile nor mentally ill, but she came from an European aristocratic family (technically, she's a baroness), grew up with 12 personal servants, married into a very wealthy - but plebeian - family, and together they squandered every little penny they had. She divorced and had to raise three kids on her own, in relative poverty (one servant is not enough), had to work for a living (how shameful!), and poured all her frustration and bitterness on us. Of her three kids, the one that lives closest to her is 5000 miles away. I confronted her many times on what she thinks about that, if she says that it's wonderful, because she can travel more. She insists on spend three months with each of us, and three months on her city. We have no choice but to oblige, otherwise she manages to make our lives even more hellish. She got to the point of denouncing my brother-in-law for an nonexistent domestic violence episode to the police, from 8000 miles away. She does not have pure evil intent in her actions. The thing is, the only thing she's interested in is herself and her reputation. She doesn't care for our stuff, our lives or our emotions, she doesn't pay attention to anyone (she called her sister on Skype while I was talking to her), and the only thing that grabs her attention is gossip, so she can start blabbing how much better than the others she is. She's just a vain and vacuous self-absorbed ex-rich girl that happened to get old. Think Paris Hilton. For those saying that I should kiss her feet because she carried me for nine months and suffered for my birth, here it goes: she demanded a general anesthetic for all births, had a boob job and a tummy tuck on the same surgery I was born, and only saw me when I was a month old. She only turned into a hands-on mother when she got flat broke and had to fire the nannies. But no worries. I made sure for her that this is my home, so my rules apply. She's trying to behave. Oh, my husband is a saint with infinite patience, and excuses her for everything. And my mother-in-law is the best person I've ever met, and compensated for all the hurt my mother inflicted. :)
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So not really your Mom, just the woman who passed on half her genes.
Wait.... Your MOM PEED in YOUR BED?
Next it's gonna be you coming home to your house in ashes and your mom standing outside with a obvious face expression.. Just watch
**** that, tell her she gets her shit together or she will be forced to leave. What a ****.
Your mom peed in your bed? That's different
I have the utmost respect for you and your husband. Not a lot of people could have the patience to deal with a mother like that, so you've done well to become the grounded, level headed person that you are today. I wish you all the best and hope that things someday improve :).
Wow I'm so sorry...
She made you, gotta love her unconditionally. Plus, I bet you weren't a trip when you were younger
Seriously? Why do you have to love someone just because they share genetics with you? A terrible person is a terrible person. I'd they show no remorse, or even recognition, of the shitty things they've done, why do you have to still love them?
Parents don't automatically deserve respect. I personally would do anything for my mother while I haven't spoken to my father in almost 5 years and won't for the remainder because of the attitude he has and way he acts. Just because someone takes part in your creation (aka "pumping out a unit") doesn't mean you have to automatically love them. Unconditional love is a lie, there is always conditions no matter how small or hidden in your mind.
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It's your house and your family. Set some ground rules for her, or tell her to leave.
Well at least you sound like you turned out better than she did. Glad you're laying out the ground rules and she's trying to comply. I don't think I could stand being raised like that if I were growing up. I know my family irritates me but they get me through some rough times. Good luck to you for the next three months.