Miscellaneous: Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were...

By Jarool - 12/05/2014 19:41 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 639

You deserved it 6 654

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/10/2014 15:42 - Australia - Burnside

Today, my wife pressed a button in the elevator and quickly ran out, leaving me in there with our crying baby. When the elevator arrived at the floor, the doors opened on a wedding reception. The doors couldn't have taken any longer to close again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 052

You deserved it 3 889

You ANIMAL

By ElevatorThug - 25/08/2009 09:17 - Singapore

Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 222

You deserved it 34 311

Introvert life

By CaBur - 19/02/2013 22:03 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, at work I got in an elevator to go upstairs. It wasn't until the doors opened minutes later and people stepped in that I realized I had zoned out and forgot to press the button for the floor I needed. I then promptly exited the elevator and waited for the next elevator to go up in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 350

You deserved it 27 125

Thanks, I guess

By Stuckism - 15/09/2009 17:16 - Malaysia

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line told me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I had a headache, my legs were stiff, and my date must've thought I stood her up. The tech finally arrived, pries the door open, then rudely asked, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 466

You deserved it 3 586

Brain fart, episode 23

By edodge - 15/10/2010 03:03 - United States

Today, at work, my boss and I went upstairs to storage. We got in the elevator, I pressed the second floor button, and it didn't move so I repeatedly pressed the button. It wasn't until the fifth press that I realized we were already on the second floor. She thought I was an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 790

You deserved it 28 863

By wilsmith - 01/02/2010 12:36 - China

Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 577

You deserved it 26 624

Where are we?

By Jobless - 22/09/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, I got in the elevator with my dog and pressed the button for my floor. Instead of going up, it dropped two floors and opened up to a random basement room filled with nothing but mannequins, and wouldn't go back up. I had to fumble our way to the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 83

Footloose

By Imnotfromhere - 16/06/2021 10:59

Today, my neighbor told me to stop pushing the elevator buttons and opening doors with my feet. I bitched him out, because he's been making a huge issue out of it for months. Right after, I realized I forgot my keys inside and he's the only person around who could let me back into the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 1 843

By Anonymous - 24/07/2009 10:01 - United States

Today, I was in an elevator with my dad and several strangers. When the elevator voice said, "Going down," my dad excitedly said, "Man, I love it when she says that!" loudly enough for everyone to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 068

You deserved it 4 690

By Tired - 13/07/2009 13:25 - Philippines

Today, my building's elevators were temporarily out of service. I climbed up 17 flights of stairs only to realize I left my keys downstairs. After the painful climb back up, the elevator lights came on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 745

You deserved it 6 830

GAOStarr 15

Tuesday 13 May 2014 0:15

Was it Willy Wonka's glass elevator?

drumguy218 11

Tuesday 13 May 2014 0:14

wow...

Comments

JarOfPeachz 9

Tuesday 13 May 2014 0:19

sounds like you should lift her spirits.

koolkool994 28

Tuesday 13 May 2014 6:22

That was a terrible pun...

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Tuesday 13 May 2014 0:19

In Soviet Russia, door opens you

Faddyy6 17

Tuesday 13 May 2014 0:23

what a dumbass, even my 5 year old brother know it is for door.

warsun 27

Tuesday 13 May 2014 8:53

It is for door? Correct me if I'm wrong but that doesn't sound right

SemiAuto 21

Tuesday 13 May 2014 0:23

She's a dumbass.

ineedagooduser 12

Tuesday 13 May 2014 0:25

Lol

avapaige1234 19

Tuesday 13 May 2014 0:29

Well, somebody's got to tell her sooner or later.

buckdharma 36

Tuesday 13 May 2014 0:33

She was all excited about going sideways with you op. All you had to do was push the right buttons. Sheesh.

chocolatefrog28 29

Tuesday 13 May 2014 0:35

At least she's cute, right? Everyone has moments like that, poor girl.

justin1205 9

Tuesday 13 May 2014 0:40

She's got to learn it eventually. Or else she might get hurt doing something she shouldn't be doing.

dabomb0513 10

Tuesday 13 May 2014 0:53

Man bro...she better be smokin hot.

91hayek 31

Tuesday 13 May 2014 0:57

Yeah her ass better be crazy fire. That excuses everything.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I took my new boyfriend's virginity about 10 minutes ago. He kept whispering, "It’s inside you, it’s actually inside you… feels kind of sticky, slippery, it’s actually inside you I can’t believe it.” It was super off-putting and a bit creepy. And no, I definitely did not orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 277

Today, my seventy-year-old male live-in landlord asked if I'd heard a low humming noise the last few nights, around midnight, as someone had mentioned it. I feigned ignorance, whilst silently lamenting the decline of my self-pleasure opportunities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 456

You deserved it 283

The Top

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 942

You deserved it 3 794

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 202

You deserved it 3 390

Today, I was taking some clothes downstairs to wash, when my mum stopped me. She accused me of sleeping around and trying to hide something, since she did the washing yesterday. She made me admit in front of the whole family that I'd been "surprised" by a case of diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 121

You deserved it 3 131

Today, I walked outside to see my dog killing my cat. My spouse tried to cheer me up - "Hey, at least we don't have to buy cat food anymore!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 920

You deserved it 3 329

Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out because I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me for not making sure we still had apple juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 809

You deserved it 2 908

Today, my dog once again desperately tried to yank me straight into the path of a bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 018

You deserved it 2 298