Love: Today, my wife said she was going to her friend's place to help...

By Anonymous - 11/06/2016 05:15 - United States - Bronx

Today, my wife said she was going to her friend's place to help her with couponing. She started getting ready at 5pm; shaved her legs, did her hair, put on skin-tight leggings and a low-cut top. Left at 6pm, snuck back in at 2:50am. Shit, couponing must be really exciting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 139

You deserved it 2 904

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Same thing different taste

By neverunderstood - 02/12/2016 12:39 - Italy - San Pietro In Casale

Today, my wife suddenly texted me to meet her halfway beetween our house and the supermarket. I immediately put my shoes on and started walking eager to get to her as fast as I could to surprise her. Turns out she was carrying three heavy bags and yelled at me for being slow and by foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 433

You deserved it 1 426

Winner winner chicken dinner

By Anonymous - 26/02/2021 14:02

Today, I realized I have finally turned into my mother when I got excited about using so many coupons that I only paid 70 cents for $14 worth of groceries. I need a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 248

By Anonymous - 15/12/2015 18:10 - Germany - Munich

Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 982

You deserved it 2 601

By Anonymous - 17/04/2012 20:53 - United States - International Falls

Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 387

You deserved it 2 044

By FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 124

You deserved it 4 859

By Anonymous - 07/01/2013 21:27 - United States - Foxboro

Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 180

You deserved it 7 963

Gimme the drugs

By Debi - 25/01/2022 01:59

Today, I scrambled to get out of work on the dot to go to a special pharmacy that closes at 5 pm an hour away. I arrived at 4:58. Upon reaching the door, one of the employees came and locked it in my face. Apparently, her going home early was more important than me getting my medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 327

You deserved it 391

By too tight - 15/02/2012 11:26 - United States

Today, in a rush to get ready, I put on some "sexy" panties that I bought years ago. By the second hour of work, they were so tight and uncomfortable, I had to cut slits up the sides to avoid cutting off the circulation to my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 291

You deserved it 14 063

Get on with it!

By Anonymous - 31/05/2023 00:02

Today, I told my fiancée I was going to the gym. She gave me a dozen "quick, easy errands" that took me over three hours to finish. When I was done, I called her and said I was going to the gym now. She yelled, "You still haven't gone? You've been out for days! What have you been doing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 179

So, as I was saying before I was interrupted by your colon…

By Privacy please - 30/10/2024 07:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my wife hit a new level of clingy when she picked the lock on the bathroom door so she could sit with me while I shat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 77

CamBamShamDaMan 26

Sunday 12 June 2016 0:06

Why wouldn't she just say shes going out for the night? Because you seem old enough to know whats goin on...

H4H 15

Sunday 12 June 2016 0:09

It's bad that she's sneaking back in wearing those clothes, it's worse when her excuse is couponing

Comments

OneShotOfEstus94 7

Sunday 12 June 2016 4:45

did the coupons **** your wife?

Jayms_fml 32

Sunday 12 June 2016 10:05

HahA!! XD

Jayms_fml 32

Sunday 12 June 2016 4:55

LOL, I love the way you worded this FML. :D

nerd102 19

Sunday 12 June 2016 5:21

The next time she goes couponing, you should say that you saw some good ones in the paper and want to come help.

MandieL 27

Sunday 12 June 2016 5:26

I wanna know how she gets ready to go clubbing in an hour! But seriously. That sucks OP. Talk to your wife, she may have just been going out with the girls to a club. Why she had to lie about it...?