Intimacy: Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had...

By Username - 18/03/2010 08:21 - France

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 578

You deserved it 49 782

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Who1s269 - 03/05/2013 12:13 - United States

Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 247

You deserved it 8 412

Let's get it on

By Frank - 17/08/2011 06:50 - United States

Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 053

You deserved it 6 454

Waste of time

By I'mmessedup - 29/09/2021 22:59

Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 148

You deserved it 538

Access denied

By Anonymous - 26/09/2023 19:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, my wife spent all day texting me dirty things so I used some of my holiday hours to come home 3 hours early for some sexy time. During my drive home she got in a bad mood, and no longer wanted sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657

You deserved it 125

Wait

By Anonymous - 20/07/2022 22:00

Today my wife told me she really wanted to have sex, and to wait in bed while she got ready. Turns out get ready means do the dishes, feed the dogs, clean the cat's litter tray, phone her sister, make coffee, shower, and wait for the dryer to dry her pyjamas. By the time she got in bed, I'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 465

You deserved it 1 085

Caught in 4K

By ScrewU - 17/08/2022 19:59 - United States

Today, I got off early from work to catch my wife screwing her co-worker in our bed. I ask her what I did to deserve this. She told me she was “lonely” and that he “always makes her feel like a woman,” unlike me. She would come home from work and I would initiate intimacy, but she would decline every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 881

You deserved it 156

In the mood

By Anonymous - 16/10/2019 02:00

Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 254

You deserved it 207

The truth

By LOLCATS - 13/10/2009 13:45 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife came home from work early and told me she'd been fired. She was really upset so I told her how much she means to me and how much I love her to help cheer her up. She then told me she was caught getting it on with another employee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 390

You deserved it 2 504

Teaser

By Frustrating - 21/07/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my wife spent the entire evening grabbing my crotch, whispering dirty things to me, and telling me how horny she was, right up until the kids went to bed. Then, it was, "Baby, I just want cuddles, I don't feel like sex" and pouting. This happens at least three times a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 130

So frustrating!

By Marvin-jones - 02/03/2023 02:00

Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 133

snakeonthesun 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 16:11

that's why she said she was horny! To get you in the mood. was that not enough?

goonie85 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 16:43

"Um, you need to get me in the mood." Isn't that something a woman says? Pull out your tampon and **** that woman stupid.

Comments

dakins 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 6:00

ydi she did "something" by telling u she wanted to ****, saying do something is like saying. "sorry I'm just not into u, but if u do something i might b able to tolerate screwing u"....... next time stick to this rule of thumb. if a woman wants to screw SHUT UP, all ur going to do is talk urself out of her pants.

Fou_Lou 20

Tuesday 11 November 2014 12:11

If you replace women with man in this comment it would have been buried. And thats whats soo sad about gendering.

Late_night83 25

Sunday 2 October 2011 21:14

How bout, "suck my ****?" fyl for not taking the opportunity.

ankoku 2

Wednesday 7 March 2012 1:27

She has to get ready for the kitchen?

yesicafuentes 0

Friday 6 April 2012 2:58

what she said didnt turn you on fail

KalCountry76 12

Wednesday 6 June 2012 6:54

Her being horny after two weeks isn't enough to turn you on? Do her a favor and take some Viagra. :P

WeSwEaTiNbRuH 2

Thursday 18 April 2013 5:34

Are you retarded?

opj77_fml 13

Monday 5 May 2014 20:30

Maybe you should do something for her first!

CTPope74 13

Friday 30 May 2014 23:01

If she is horny she can **********, that is what men do. It takes two to have sex if not its masturbation If she wanted to have sex, she could have started to try and turn him on. She failed.

Furia_fml 8

Sunday 5 October 2014 10:04

Idiot sexist people. Men are not always in the mood, what is wrong with you? People keep talking about not seeing women as toys while it is perfectly normal to see men as toys, it seems. Sometimes men need help to get in the mood too, just like women need help to get in the mood. And you idiots who would think it is okay for her to cheat because they havent had sex in two weeks? I hope your SO cheats on you multiple times, and leaves you in tears when you find out. Stupid *****.