Health: Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit...

By Anonymous - 29/09/2014 19:39 - United States - Derry

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 478

You deserved it 4 127

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By HairyBoobs - 05/11/2009 14:22 - United States

Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 411

You deserved it 6 888

By sorethumb - 15/12/2015 23:39 - United Kingdom - Bookham

Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 521

You deserved it 3 398

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 17:32 - Japan - Yokohama

Today, I went to the hospital due to vomiting and abdominal pain, and they decided to fit me with an IV drip. It took several tries by two different people to get the cannula in. I feel like a human pin-cushion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 833

You deserved it 4 508

By Anonymous - 28/10/2009 08:03 - United States

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 180

You deserved it 7 947

Nice.

By poururheartout - 27/07/2018 20:30

Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 279

You deserved it 398

By nothing_nobody - 23/06/2016 01:31

Today, I was volunteering at a local hospital. I was eagerly introducing myself to all the nurses, as I would be working with them all summer. It wasn't until I got home that I discovered the giant piece of lettuce stuck in my front teeth. So much for first impressions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 594

You deserved it 1 960

By Nickname - 12/10/2011 20:05 - United States

Today, I went to the emergency room for busting my lip open, I had to lie and tell them I slipped and fell. In reality I was singing with the soap bottle and slammed it into my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 765

You deserved it 13 862

By Anonymous - 08/07/2011 15:46 - Belgium

Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 454

You deserved it 2 695

By Jenna - 30/06/2011 00:04 - United States

Today, I was making pudding and accidentally spilt some on the floor. I had no idea until I slipped in it, throwing the bowl of pudding on my head. My mom promised to take me to the hospital as soon as she got a picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 982

You deserved it 5 620

By Travellingluck - 20/10/2017 16:12

Today, after a week of severe gastroenteritis that required a hospital stay, I was finally feeling well enough to go in the pool at our holiday resort. My fiance slipped on the edge of the pool and we're back in the hospital. Happy vacation! FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 722

You deserved it 269

LittleBells 17

Monday 29 September 2014 23:52

It has to be better than their Chocolate Pudding I suppose

WCARlover 34

Monday 29 September 2014 23:55

This made me cringe so hard...I am so sorry OP

Comments

RollingCakes 21

Tuesday 30 September 2014 0:00

Ouch, I hope you get better soon OP! But at least the ER nurse seems really friendly and kind which always makes trips to the hospital better.

CowInYogaPants 4

Tuesday 30 September 2014 0:01

Aww sorry OP :( but at least you got vanilla pudding! My father used to work at a hospital, and would always bring home extra pudding. My favorite childhood memories. Hope you feel better soon!

Liamj774 36

Tuesday 30 September 2014 0:02

Well don't keep things stern. You should make light of it, maybe green or red?

xx_alexmagm_xx 12

Tuesday 30 September 2014 0:06

Damn...that was very educational

cjwayy 22

Tuesday 30 September 2014 0:07

Oh my god. My ****** just screamed.

cakefete2 30

Tuesday 30 September 2014 0:43

Oh, so that's what a screaming ****** sound like. On a side note, screaming vaginas might make an awesome band name.

luststarrr 22

Tuesday 30 September 2014 5:04

#29, agreed. I'm envisioning feminist post-punk...

geekchick88 17

Tuesday 30 September 2014 14:00

#29, my husband and our one friend already came up with that idea. They said they were going to create a band called "Screaming Vaginas" and their first single would be called "Bleed and Queef". I was texting my best friend when this conversation occurred, and relayed it to him...his immediate response was "That's already a band, but you probably know them as My Chemical Romance." I laughed way more than I should've.