Love: Today, on the drive to church, I got a nosebleed. Not so bad,...

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By BloodyMarry - 04/06/2013 17:53 - United States

Today, on the drive to church, I got a nosebleed. Not so bad, until I sneezed and splattered myself and my fiancé with blood, snot, and eventually tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 762

You deserved it 4 754

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/05/2018 01:30

Today, I sneezed without knowing I had a nosebleed. Despite turning my head, a fine blood spray shot out all over my fiancée’s white dress as we were standing at the altar. She refused to say “I do” because she was so mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 094

You deserved it 570

Crime scene

By veethebee - 08/05/2019 01:00

Today, I parked in the parking lot at work feeling like I had to sneeze. As I was walking in, the sneeze finally came. Apparently, my nose was bleeding so when I sneezed, blood got all over the floor and my brand new work clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 955

You deserved it 141

By Ella - 29/05/2012 05:14 - United States

Today, I went on a 7-hour plane flight. For 3 hours I had a bloody nose. When it finally stopped, I sneezed. It started to bleed again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 543

You deserved it 2 122

By Anonymous - 23/06/2019 20:30

Today, I was on my way to work. Out of nowhere, my period started. Due to allergies, I had uncontrollable sneezes. Now, I have blood all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 024

You deserved it 147

By SaMike - 01/09/2009 01:12 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 745

You deserved it 4 748

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 11/08/2021 00:01

Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 103

Rough patch

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 460

You deserved it 2 891

Hott

By hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 929

You deserved it 4 507

Inconvenienced

By Anonymous - 06/05/2022 20:00 - United States - Dover

Today, I got a nosebleed. For 7 hours. I ended up in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 87

By BlueMacaw - 25/07/2016 14:38 - United States - Edmond

Today, at church, I sneezed suddenly and messily into my hand just as the priest asked us to stand and greet our neighbors with a handshake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 673

You deserved it 2 166

Pleonasm 35

Tuesday 4 June 2013 23:43

I was going to make a Bloody Mary joke, but you already have it covered in your name... And to think, I'd put all my blood, snot and tears into these puns!

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 5 June 2013 0:02

It blows that you can't even make a pun these days without people screaming bloody murder. Anyone have a tissue, because this is really tearing me apart! God only nose how picky the people can be around here; I wish they'd booger off and let the crusts fall where they may.

Comments

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 5 June 2013 15:58

Blood Snot and Tears. Sounds like a good band name.

djinnyf 12

Wednesday 5 June 2013 18:33

What a bad day! Poor thing!! xx

unixdude 9

Wednesday 5 June 2013 19:14

Well, stop going to church. You can practice Bronze Age superstition from home.

Fedezzer 20

Wednesday 5 June 2013 20:50

Apparently it's in the Bible that God didn't want any houses of worship and that he'd prefer if everyone worshiped him personally. So churches are allegedly against Christianity.